More Self-Aggrandizement

When I first saw the great 1956 movie Captain Horatio Hornblower, starring Gregory Peck and Virginia Mayo, sometime in the 1980s, I was thrilled and excited.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/KirkHornCover.jpg

I'd heard that supposedly Gene Roddenberry had described the Kirk character as a 23rd-century Hornblower. I'd read C Northcote Parkinson's Hornblower books (which are TERRIFIC by the way).

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/KirkHorn1.jpg

Now here was the Hornblower character come to life, as it were, on film.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/KirkHorn2.jpg

So when Kirk destroyed the Enterprise in STIII, I couldn't help but see the resemblance to Hornblower's actions in Ship of the Line, where he sinks his doomed ship in the mouth of a bay, thereby blocking the French fleet from entering or getting out.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/KirkHorn3.jpg

Anyway, here are my meditations on a Kirk/Hornblower comparison, with the literary conceit that the article is a Starfleet Academy student's paper comparing the (real) Kirk with the (fictional) Hornblower.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/KirkHorn4.jpg

So this article made it into 1990's Best of Trek #15.

By the way friends, please comment if you wish!

Make Your Own Props

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/WristRadio2.jpg

These are the wrist radios I made, copying the idea from STTMP. Also, the Perscan belt buckle.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/WristRadio1.jpg

If you read the novel of STTMP, supposedly by Gene Roddenberry, then you know about the Perscan device. It's basically a continuous health, location, etc scanning device. It monitors your body functions, records them, and communicates them to the nearest medical service location.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/PerScanBuckle.jpg

Or, as Dr McCoy might call it, "A damned invasion of privacy."

Not "Found Art," but "Found" Star Trek

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/SpaceWatch.jpg

While grocery shopping a few decades ago, my now-26-year-old son Matthew pointed this space watch out to me as he rode in the seat of the shopping cart.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/DreadnoughtFront.jpg

Isn't that space ship familiar?

Now, it used to be that you could buy little three-inch-long scale models of Star Trek ships at hobby shops and such.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/DreadnoughtBack.jpg

Apparently they weren't licensed through Paramount, but through the Star Trek Blueprints by Franz Joseph Designs.

Getcher Action Fleet Right Here!

Here are the come-ons for the afore-mentioned punch-out Star Trek Action Fleet.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/ActionFleetTwix.jpg

If you bought a six-count package of Twix (or maybe other Mars candies), this starburst ad directed you to the ordering directions on back.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/ActionFleetEnv.jpg

I don't know exactly when I sent off for the thing, but notice that the envelope is postmarked for February 1981, after the promotion's end.

Also notice that the label was hand-typed. Also, that the package is addressed to "Matt alfred," who was not born until 1983! I sure don't know why I used the already-chosen name of our not-yet-conceived firstborn, but there it is.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/ActionFleetInsert.jpg

This is the insert that told you to follow the directions printed on the individual die-cut sheets.

Have Fun and Learn about Outer Space

Lucky Number 13?

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/StalkCover.jpg

In 1988 my next article was published in a Best of Trek paperback.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/Stalk1.jpg

This time I even got a rear cover blurb for my article.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/Stalk2.jpg

Note the disclaimer in the editor's introduction about how you should always collect for fun and not for money.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/Stalk3.jpg

This is more likely a disclaimer, so that some reader couldn't claim that we promised him that his such-and-such was worth big bucks.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/Stalk4.jpg

Remember, all this searching and finding was done in the days before the internet, when you had to actually do things yourself!

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/Stalk5.jpg

Nerdy Enough Fer Ya?

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/VariCover.jpg

This, my second Best of Trek article, is the epitome of the old English class assignment, "Compare and Contrast."

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/Vari1.jpg

That is, you take two things and assess similarities and differences.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/Vari2.jpg

My pride in American Lit class was to compare Rev Dimsdale in The Scarlet Letter with John Lennon's song "Crippled Inside," from Imagine.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/Vari3.jpg

Anyway, this is about the various video and TV versions of STTMP and STII.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/Vari4.jpg

Back in the Day, that is in 1983 or so, there weren't any of these fancy DVD thingies (or even freeze-frames you could see very well).

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/Vari5.jpg

So these articles were researched by having two VCRs hooked up to the same TV and playing two videotapes of the same thing and switching a "video switcher" back and forth a few million times.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/Vari6.jpg

And these were the old 50-pound VCRs with "piano key" buttons.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/Vari7.jpg

If you actually take the time to READ this whole article, congratulations to you.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/Vari8.jpg

If you think it was worth reading, then let me know, and congratulations to ME!

I wanted an alliterative title, and "Variations and Vexations" was the best I could come up with at the time. Got a better one? "Visions and Versions"? "Differences and Distractions"?

I Got Paid!

When I read the first few Best of TREK paperback anthologies, I wrote them a letter asking if they would like an article on how to customize a couple of AMT Enterprise models, combining them into a Dreadnought class.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/DeadCover.jpg

That never happened, but later on I sent them an article on the hoopla surrounding Spock's death in STII, before STII in fact came out.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/Dead1.jpg

Any chance to use the phrase "He's Dead, Jim" in print, eh?

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/Dead2.jpg

Oh, yeah. With the $35 I was paid for the article, I was able to buy a new cassette boombox to listen to while working the overnight shift at Coastal Mart.

Not Quite STAR TREK

Welcome back, Campers!

I had to spend last night finishing up the SoonerCon 2009 Program Book, but we're back to share some rip-offs of Star Trek images.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/Galaxy666.jpg

Galaxy 666, by Pel Toro, is so forgettable I've forgotten about it. But I did read it, in another lifetime. This treasure was so wonderful that the art director at the publisher decided he had to cheat to sell the book.

It looks to me like he basically took a piece from an Erector set kit and glued it across the warp nacelles of an AMT Enterprise model kit, along with some orange bubbles on the ends of the nacelles and atop the saucer.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/LoveBomb.jpg

Now, the second tome, The Love Bomb, actually was written with Star Trek in mind. As with Galaxy 666, time has mercifully blotted most of the story from my mind.

But I do recall that the alien in question (the grinning Spock lookalike in the cover art) has come to Earth in search of a little , umm, lady companionship, whilst spreading the sex-is-good philosophy with the same urgency as the real Spock used to preach logic.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/LoveBombrear.jpg

The rear cover shows the art a little larger.

Next up, some of my *actual* publications.

Tulsa Star Trek '83

Guess what! it was in 1983.

I had a dealer's table, and took my VCR and a little TV to play my blooper tapes to draw some attention.

Friday night I slept in my car in the parking garage of the hotel. My big beast, a 1968 Ford Galaxy, had room on its vinyl back seat for me to curl up on.

During the day Saturday, I met a nice guy and his aunt, and I was able to crash on their couch that night. In return, I was kept semi-awake by duping VHS copies of Raiders of the Lost Ark and E.T.

Yes, these were bootleg of unreleased-to-video films. As the Japanese-Jewish lawyer said, "SoSuMe."

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/TulsaST83Doohan.jpg

Among the guests at Tulsa Star Trek '83 were Jimmy Doohan and George Takei. I was able to crash Doohan's table and get someone to take my picture with him. The photo is a good illustration of how a guy looks when he is holding a pen in his right hand but he has no middle finger. As you should know, Doohan's middle finger was shot off on D-Day.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/TulsaST83Takei.jpg

George Takei, the fitness guy, had invited/challenged any and all comers to jog with him. So on Saturday morning, about twenty people headed out onto the streets. When I stopped at a Git-N-Go about 500 feet into the jog to wait for them to pass on the return trip back to the hotel, I was joined by a couple of other smart fellas.

After I loaded up my leftover merchandise Sunday afternoon, I headed back toward OKC. I got about twenty feet when the car cronked out. Thank heavens my big brother and his wife live in Tulsa, and gave me a place to sleep, and a lift to a garage, where I had to spend all but a pittance of the $400 I had made, to replace the harmonic balancer on my car.

So overall I'd say that this convention was a washout, except for these photos, which prove that I was once lanky.

Finally, Decker Gets His Picture on a Box!

Here is the last of the four McDonald's STAR TREK Meals boxes.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/STTMPMcDBox4A.jpg

Pity Stephen Collins. He was originally hired as the lead in STAR TREK: The Series, when in 1977 or whenever, Paramount was planning to launch the "Fourth Network." Then Star Wars hit big, and SF was glamorous again. Paramount decided to go for a Trek movie.

Then sort of like in the actual film of STTMP, Shatner/Kirk swooped in and took over the ship!

Or, as the actual box caption says below Collins'Decker's portrait, "The young captain is removed from command of the ship when Kirk returns."

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/STTMPMcDBox4B.jpg
Not, "Decker saves the ship because of his understanding of the new Enterprise." Or, "Decker has sex with a robot to save the Enterprise and Earth." Nope, just "removed from command."
And don't forget Mr Spock saying, "Help! we are lost."
To quote Hekyll and Jekyll, See you next week with a brand new post. Ta ta!

Third Week of Happy Trek Meals

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/STTMPMcDBox3A.jpg

When I see the topsy-turvy Klingons on the front side, it makes me think of Terry Gilliam's use of moving cutouts on Monty Python. I can almost hear a bumbling humming in the background as the Klingons compete in the Galaxy Head-Standing Competition. "I would've won, Bert, if not for these bloody bumps on me fore'ead!"

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/STTMPMcDBox3B.jpg

I think the image of McCoy in the top left of side two looks a little like Frank Langella as Dracula, getting twitchy and ready to gnosh on somebody.

The last box tomorrow! Next week, some photos from Tulsa Star Trek '83, and how I (almost) jogged with George Takei.

McDonald's Happy Meal, Week 2

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/STTMPMcDBox2A.jpg

The second Happy Meal box.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/STTMPMcDBox2B.jpg

Note the Enterprise burping at the top left of side 1.

Meals to Make Trekkers Happy

The first of 4 Star Trek: The Motion Picture Happy meal Boxes.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/STTMPMcDBox1A.jpg

No, I don't have any more toys, I got rid of them in the 1980s.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/STTMPMcDBox1B.jpg

Notice the comic on the back side of the box. The four boxes serialize the first 5 minutes or so of the movie.

Stuck in the Dealer's Room with Me (apologies to Stealer's Wheel)

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/BabelCon81EdMark.jpg

At BabelCon '81, as in many cons, I sold stuff in the Dealers' Room. At '81, I shared my table with my friend Ed Porter, who can be seen in his Battlestar Galactica Colonial Warrior outfit.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/BabelCon81MarkandTech.jpg

Many times I'd wear a Trek costume, and as you can see, I wasn't the only one.

The gal with the bagpipe and also in the STTMP Engineering outfit was named called Sunny, if I recall. She could actually PLAY that thing.

At a Saturday night room party where I was present with Sunny, writer C J Cherryh, Jimmy Doohan, and others, she had her bagpipe (in its case) and Mr D agreed to autograph it for her. Now, as I said last week, this was before STII's release, and SOMETHING was in the wind as far as "a big thing happening" in the movie, but we didn't know what.

Mr D wouldn't tell us anything either, but he DID write on Sunny's bagpipe case, along with his name, the words "a sombre tone," which meant a lot more after we saw STII and knew Spock had snuffed it, joined the choir eternal, was an ex-Vulcan.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/BabelCon81Bagpipe.jpg

As is apparent, on Saturday morning I shaved off my mustache, the better to wear Vulcan eyebrows and ears for the Saturday evening Costume Contest.

Am I the only would-be Vulcan to actually trim his eyebrows and glue on the clippings to make the Vulcan angled eyebrow?

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/BabelCon81DealerSmile.jpg

Sometimes, gals just came by to say hi and have their picture taken. No problems with that!

Starting tomorrow: Did somebody say McDonald's STAR TREK Meals?

BabelCon '81

In 1980, members of STAR OKC decided to throw a "big" con. It was called BabelCon '81 and we had a big guest, Mr James Doohan himself.

This was after STII had wrapped, but before its release. Rumors were flying that something *BIG* was going to happen, but nobody really knew what. We didn't know, anyway. This was in the olden times when the most recent TREK news was presented by Entertainment Tonight, which concerned itself with entertainment and not transexual anorexic foreign adoptees announcing plastic surgery.

So, Jimmy Doohan came to OKC and met a pack of starstruck kids. We took him out to eat on Thursday night before the con, when he happily posed for pictures with any gal on his lap, but especially my sweet Joyce (remember, my lady of the golden needle?)

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/Babelcon81DoohanJoyceA.jpg

Nerdy kids that we were, after he signed nearly everyone's STAR OKC T-shirts, we decided we all had to autograph one for him. And he actually put it on! For a minute.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/BabelCon81DoohanSTARShirt.jpg

(By the way, this minimalist T-shirt design was created by Yours truly.)

On Monday, some photos from BabelCon '81 featuring TREK costumes, back when you had to MAKE THEM YOURSELVES.

Doesn't My Wife Make Great Costumes?

In the blue outfit, I'm a smirking Vulcan with an unsufferable eyebrow.

In the red STII outfit, I'm challenging my wife to a wrestling match (or at least hoping to).

For the blue STTMP outfit, we went to the local fabric store and found a pattern for a 2-piece outfit that was close, at least in the sketches on the front.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/MarkSmirkingVulcan.jpg

We found some doubleknit material that was pretty darn close in color, and voila. With an "invisible" zipper up the back of the neck and an elastic waistband, I was good to go.

The shirt patch was bought. The wrist communicator was a cut-up plastic car cupholder with a cutout to show some chrome plastic model car parts. The Perscan "belt buckle" is a plastic audio-cassette box with more strips of a cassette box painted silver and glued on. The silver dial in the Perscan "Belt Buckle" is the grooved screw-on cap of a tube of Testor's model cement.

The dear wife of mine sewed two slots in the front, so that the elastic strap velcroed to the Perscan "Belt Buckle" could be underneath the shirt except where holding the buckle. Since the cassette box making up the buckle was hollow, I had a place for a con badge inside, perhaps. But since she also sewed "non-patterned" pockets into the pants, I could just use them for my car keys.

(The wrist communicator and the Perscan Belt Buckle are visible in the photo from yesterday's post.)

The STII outfit was just a pair of boots and turned-under elasticized legged-pants. I had a white turtle-necked shirt whose collar was turned down and vertically stictched for that "trapunto" look.

http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/Blog%20Trek/MarkSTIICostume.jpg

The jacket -- ah, the jacket! Back to the pattern store to find the closest match. Then for dear Joyce to make the thing, with the right lining for the turn-down flap, and velco to hold it shut, with gold and red trim to finish it off.

I found a circular belt buckle and made a plastic Starfleet "arrow", glued it on, and spray-painted the thing gold.

Boy, my dear Joyce does great work, eh?