Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Me Tarzan, You Arbo Zil!


Well, those cave guys beat Superman up after stealing his costume. Now the big lug wearing the Kryptonian long johns has figured out there's a pocket in the cape!
Mr Ooga-Booga has given Clark Kent's clothes to his main squeeze. Clark Kent's glasses fall to the ground unnoticed, as a dust storm blows in.
While the primitives enter their rawhide huts, Superman gropes for the glasses, using them as barely effectual goggles against the dust. He finds a cave and arranges some rocks in an "S" shape and an arrow pointing inwards, and prepares to wait out the storm.
As is usual for this kind of thing, Superman reflects on his normal super-powers and contrasts them with his current predicament. Where before he smashed planets together to reignite a sun, now he's having a hard time striking a spark to start a fire.
And this is where we leave our hero, trying to get a fire started, driven away from the natives, alone in a cave on an alien planet, wearing a hand-me-down loincloth.
See you next time!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Excedrin Headache Number 171


If you stop to think about it, it's kind of amazing how people who steal the Super-costume -- cavemen, imposters, Kryptonian lookalikes -- all seem to fill out the duds so well. Prpbably the Kryptonian cloth is super-formfitting.

Anyway, after being mugged for his threads, Superman wakes up buck nekkid, and is forced to don his assailant's *used* loincloth. Yuck.

When he finds the fabric filcher, Supes gets another surprise. He already knew he was un-super on this planet of the schizophrenic sun. But he didn;t know the natives were so strong!

This cave guy could give a Mexican masked wrestler a run for his pesos! He simply picks up our hero with one hand and flings him like a proverbial sack of potatoes.

Then a ringer comes in and re-enacts the cover scene, sort of. On the cover, the costume thief is belting Superman. On this page, the mugger is in the background while a second caveman pounds away at the Man of Bruises.

What new indignity will be visited on our hero while he's marooned on this planet? Stay tuned!
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© by Mark Alfred