Diamond in the Pocket

 ON TV commercials, the theme song for GI Joe was sung by a manly chorus, to the tune of "The Caissons Go Rolling Along."

Now, I myself never had a GI Joe.  But, a GI Joe footlocker wade a great case for all of my model-making supplies ... model glue, model paint and thinner, paint brushes, an Exacto knife, old model instructions, and the like.

Back in our story, Batman is unaware that the sneaky Lois Lane saw him change from Superman to Bruce Wayne (subbing for the Man of Steel during a Super-absence).  This knowledge didn't inspire a lifetime of noble help and friendly subterfuge in Lois, as it did with Pete Ross.

No, this is Lois Lane we're talking about here.  This "knowledge" immediately starts Lois to scheming how to ensnare Bruce Wayne, to as to latch onto his (she thinks) Super alter ego!

So, as the first step of her plan, Lois shows up on the doorstep of stately Wayne Manor, and invites herself in ...

Note that when Lois sees the Batman costumes, she immediately suspects a Super impersonation, but imagines it as running the wrong way from how it really is.  She figures Bruce has the Bat-duds around so that he (Superman) can imitate Batman.

Meanwhile Wayne twists his ankle and starts sweating up a storm.  Are these signs of human frailty to Lois?  Nah, just tricks to make her THINK that Wayne isn't Superman.

 Boy, what a potential these people have for future open and honest relationships, huh?

More on Monday, Folks!

Lois Gets Payback!

In this third story from Superman's Girl Friend, Lois Lane #59, we see a turnaround of sorts.  In the first two stories, Lois's stupid, wrongheaded, hateful, petty schemes almost led to millions of deaths and a lifetime in jail or perhaps a slow, agonizing death.

In this story, titled aptly  Superman and Batman's Joke on Lois Lane, we learn that our two favorite heroes, the knights of the cape and cowl, aren't above a few missteps.

But Lois SO DESERVES IT!

 

Start at the beginning and admire the Splash Panel.  Right away we know this has the potential for storytelling greatness, because the art is by the stupendously talented and craftsmanlike Curt Swan.

OK, I admist that it's a bit unbelievable that Lois, laying there on her belly after a supposed water rescue, has perfectly turned-out hair flips and (apparently) makeup.  This isn;t reality, this is comics -- and she looks MAHH-velous, baby!  Grrr-o-r-r-owl!

Ahem ...

So here we have Lois, supposedly washed up on a shore somewhere and unconscious after a Super-rescue, is nevertheless spying on her savior, who *gasp!* appears to be changing to his Secret Identity ... Bruce Wayne!

Of course, the next step is for Lois to plot how to marry Bruce Wayne so that she will in turn become Superman's bride.  Meanwhile, through Batman/Bruce Wayne's thought balloon, we learn that he rescued Lois while dressed as Superman as a favor to play a Kryptonian role while the real Man of Steel is elsewhere.

Our story begins as Lois investigates a tip that stolen money has been hidden in a lake at Metropolis Park.  She finds the loot (isn't that water awfully clear?) -- but cramps strike.  Let's assume that these are stomach cramps amd not lady cramps.  Didn't Mrs. Lane tell her and Lucy to wait a half hour after eating to swim?

Check out the first panel.  First off, notice that Lois's hair is appropriately fluttering around her head, giving a good depiction of underwater movement.  Secondly, notice the first clue to the Super-substitution:  Swan, the consummate artist, shows AIR BUBBLES streaming from the diving Superman figure.  That's your first indication that Lois's rescuer is human -- Superman wouldn't be holding his breath and exhaling as he swims.

Still, we see a Super-figure swoop from the water bearing Lois and the booty (the MONEY I mean).

In Panel Three we get a recap of the Splash Panel.  Lois sees Superman turn into Bruce Wayne, and immediately sets her cap on a scheme.  Deception? Playing with other peoples' lives?  Lying in love?  Check, check, and CHECKMATE.  Another Lois Lane plan for world domination is hatched!

  Now vide the next panel, a close-up of our  girl at her ditzy finest!

And the bottom two panels  let us readers in on the secret:  Superman has asked his buddy Batman to fly around (with an anti-gravity belt) and impersonate the Man of Tomorrow while he's gone on a space mission.

It's a good thing, Batman/Bruce reflects, that the wacky Lois Lane has her sights set on Superman, and not this rich bachelor millionaire...

Well, Thanks to his easily seen costume change, Lois has gotten EXACTLY that idea, buddy!  YOur life has just entered ... The Lois Zone!


...to be continued ...