Friday, July 31, 2009

Welcome Back from Vacation!

What a summer! My pal Superman and I have been on a wild vacation to outer and inner space. As the famous Dr Suexx-Ur of Krypton wrote, “Oh, the places we’ve been!”

Our first stop was Atlantis.:

As told in Superman 67, cover-dated Nov-Dec 1950, Clark Kent accompanied Lois Lane and Professor Hubble in the scientist’s new deep-sea bathysphere, descending “ a depth never before reached by man.”

While they are down there, a monster crab attacks, and Clark escapes briefly to rescue them as Superman. But one of his super-punches accidentally knocks a hole in the ocean floor, below which is – a glass-domed city! But the force of Superman’s blow has cracked the dome. So Superman pulls the bathysphere inside after him, and he seals up the crack from the inside.

He quick-changes back into Kent and slips inside, so that all three explorers can share the mystery as … they are escorted under guard from the capsule and taken, as invaders, before Queen Paralea.

Lois is amazed at the inhabitants’ appearance. “Look at all those magnificent men! Everyone of them as handsome as Superman! (sigh)”

However, along with this hypermasculinity appears to come hyperaggressiveness (extra Y chromosome, anyone?) Some guy named Hajar is leading a revolt against the Queen, who is in dutch with some of the population over her “democratic ways.”

Interestingly, Queen Paralea seems to have a taste for milquetoast, as Clark’s meek and mild ways seem more charming than all those he-man brutes surrounding her.

When Hajar’s men begin their revolt and Superman appears to save the day, Paralea at first assumes that her wonderful Clark must have thwarted the bad guys. No, Lois assures her, it was the mighty Superman, who now conveniently presents himself for introductions. But even Superman can’t hold a candle to Clark in the Queen’s eyes: “He still doesn’t NEARLY measure up to Clark. Now Clark’s the man I’d REALLY marry – if he’d have me!”

Thus, an engagement is made, much to Lois’s chagrin – “I just can’t imagine what Clark sees in that goo-goo-eyed blonde!”

But it isn’t a stripper who climbs out of the three-story birthday cake at the wedding. No, it’s Hajar’s men, itching for the final showdown. Superman mops up the bad guys, while afterwards the Queen is happy that her meek-and-mild Clark is unhurt.

And it’s for this reason, she announces, that she must call the wedding off. The royal life in Atlantis is much too dangerous for a sweet guy like Clark. “I must sacrifice my feelings and call off this marriage FOR YOUR SAKE!” *sigh*

Well, friends, Atlantis was only our first stop in our whirlwind vacations across our world and beyond. Come join me next time and I’ll tell you about a strange world whose folk had a funny way of showing affection for my Super-Pal. Or am I being too “cagey”?
See you some time next week!
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© by Mark Alfred