Does This Cape Make Me Look Fat?: Pop Psychology for Superheroes

Now available at your local Big Lots!, this is a fun little tome that's silly all the way.

It's a semi-serious take on a self-image-boosting book for any superhero stupid enough to believe something they'd read in a self-help book.

Covered are topics such as that addressed in the title/cover image, what sidekick choices reveal about your parent/child issues, how to select a costume or superhero name that's impressive yet not trashy, and so on.

It's a fun little read, peopled by variations on ten or so figures in varying versions of a few outfits, giving you the literary impression afforded on the TV screen by Filmation's DC superheroes cartoons.

Smart yet silly, flashy yet trashy, this is a really fun book.

More Ultraterrestrial Observations: Enter Jacques Vallee

Jacques Vallee was hired in the 1960s by the French government to collate and do data-entry computer surveys of UFO reports in France and Europe. Like John Keel in the USA, the more he analyzed, the more he noticed that there were PATTERNS in the data of reports.

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These patterns -- the physical appearance of "aliens," their times of day or location of appearance, and other things -- suggested that these critters were somehow conforming to stereotypes that were familiar to Earthlings, but that wouldn't be apparent to little green guys from the planet Kwatloo.

How would an extra-terrestrial know to appear and reappear in the location of a fairy ring mentioned for centuries in local, word-of-mouth folklore? How would he know to repeat certain familiar phrases spoken hundreds of years ago by local gypsies?





Maybe these appearances had more to do with "Inner Space" than "Outer Space."

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Then, in more recent cases, a human element seemed to appear. Could human intelligence agencies be mimicking the alien experience for their own ends?

Read the books and study on the idea yourself.

By the way, the character of the French scientist in Close Encounters of the Third Kind was based entirely on Vallee and his research.

What a Super Deal!

Last night, at Target, I was browsing through the DVD section. I saw Christopher Reed / Superman's image on a case that I didn't recognize. I grabbed it just for fun and looked it over.

(Photobucket link: http://i371.photobucket.com/albums/oo152/MarkAAlfred/SuperDVD4.jpg )

Big deal -- all 4 Reeve Superman movies. But I already had them in the gazillion-dollar Ultimate Superman 14-disc extravaganza.

Then I turned the DVD case over to see that the films in this set had commentaries. Well, so did the Multi-Extravaganza! Except ...

History Time: When the big block Extravaganza was first released, I bought it. Then I found that, due to a screw-up on Warner Bros' part, the disc for Superman III did not have the DVD "extras" promised as advertised. The disc only has the movie, a trailer, and "Cast Bios." Now, Warber provided a phone number to call to get the disc replaced or whatever. I called the number many times, only to get a recording and no way to interact with said recording. So, I was stuck.

Until ... last night I was at Target (this is where we came in) ...

The Superman III disc in this Target set is the "Bonus" version left out of my Mega-Extravaganza set! It's got a commentary, a making-of featurette, and deleted scenes.

So, friends, if you want ONE version of all four Reeves Superman films with some extras, but don't want to pay 60 bucks or however much used copies of the 14-disc set cost nowadays ...

Go to Target. The four movies, on two double-sided discs, are $9.99.

Contemplations on the Ultraterrestrial Theory

In another instalment of paperback scans on mysterious topics, let's look at the topic of UFOs from the "Ultraterrestrial" view.

In short, the ultraterrestrial view was, early on, popularized by John Keel, taking up the torch from Charles Fort, who once wrote, "I think we're property." Basically, the source of the UFO phenomenon isn't STAR TREK-type aliens jaunting around in their (physically real) space ships.

Keel sifted through thousands of reports of weird encounters and noticed patterns and spikes in UFO sightings on certain days, or times of days. Now, he wondered, how would aliens from the planet Kwatloo know to keep showing up at 9PM on Thursdays? They don't have a copy of the Farmer's Almanac.

No, to Keel it seemed apparent that these weirdos were weirder than that. The fact that the ships could vanish from radar or make impossible 90-degree high-speed turns was evidence that perhaps the things weren't strictly physical.

Keel's books are filled with insights and observations and analyses. Perhaps the space critters weren't from Out There, but from a place like e e cumming's "universe next door" or Another Dimension, Beyond That Which Is Known To Man (to quote Rod Serling).

Read Keel's UFOs: Project Trojan Horse for an insight into his discoveries. Heck, read ALL his books! (The paperback title for UFOs: Project Trojan Horse was Why UFOs .)

Thus the term Ultra-Terrestrial. Not a physical reality, but perhaps a metaphysical world whose inhabitants could appear and de-materialize, or take various physical forms. They could slip next-door into our world, stir us up like a kid with a stick plays with an anthill, and then slip sideways back to LuluLand.

The sad ending of Keel's writings was the hard-to-find The Eighth Tower, published by Signet in 1977. My used paperback copy cost upwards of $50. The cover blurb above the cover illustration sums it up: "Are we all biological robots ruled by a cosmic force that exists beyond space and time?"

Keel's gloomy conclusion is yep, we are. It's as if the history of man is dictated by telepathic broadcasts that run in a great cycle, spurring receptive humans to great thoughts arising in great cultures or civilizations, and then sowing dissident images and thoughts to tear it down and start again.

But, to Keel, it seems that the record being broadcast is stuck in the same cycle. Perhaps if the record didn't skip, we might be spurred to greater things, and perhaps transcend our "Radio America" origins.

But no, Keel feels, either the radio station is abandoned, or the DJ is locked out of the control booth. We're all stuck in an endless cycle of civilization and madness and decay, and being mere biological robots, all culture, all human history, even Keel's observations, are meaningless.

Wow, how cheerful!

Book Review: Vampires: Encounters with the Undead

This book, "edited and with comentary by David J Skal," is pretty good. Here's my "official" review...

You can't fault Mr Skal for his selection of stuff -- fiction, nonfiction, excerpts from longer works. All that material is on-target and really a wonderful portmanteau of Vampirian lore.

But, despite the tagline on the cover, "edited and with commentary," the commentary is, at times, rather thin gruel.

I would have hoped for commentary specific to the selections, more like annotations, or explanations of this or that thing that appears in the story or article. Instead, in the sidebars, we often have excerpts of other stories that were published at the same time as Story X, or interminable lists of decades of vampire movies or lists of vampire books, etc.

The amount of actual commentary, compared to this "padding," is a small percentage.

It's also ironic that, in the acknowledgements, Mr Skal thanks his copy editor. Now, nobody's perfect, but in this book I came across a few dozens of simple misspellings, letters dropped from words, etc; paragraph indents at the tops of pages when we were continuing a sentence started the previous page; and so on.

And what's with the sudden change in type size for just one word, or one line? This happens more in the sidebars than in the main text, but for some of us it's kind of jarring.

These little irritants keep this book from being A-Number-One, for me at least. If these things don't bug you, then run -- do not walk -- to dive into this anthology.

Latest Book with Many Pictures and Little Text

Howdy, folks, and check out this book.

It's called DC Comics Covergirls, with text by Louise Simonson.

Just like it says ... It's fun because of the big reproductions of many covers. The author being female, she does make the obvious observation about how hyper-exaggerated and pneumatic many of the female forms are drawn.

Since I'm a white-bread kind of guy, it is a little disturbing to see a few of the images from the chapter on the Vertigo and Wild Horse-type books. For that matter, Brian Bolland's cover with Batman body-pressing Catwoman while her whip is wrapped around his neck ... admire the craftsmanship; shudder at the image.

Anyway, this book is a lot of fun, and ONLY $14.98 cover price( at Borders anyway). Wow!

Make Your Own Watchmen Collectibles!

Assuming you like Watchmen, keep an eye out for the good ol' Smiley Face as you shop your neighborhood thrift stores. With a little luck and some judiciously applied red model paint, you can amaze your friends with your exclusive Watchmen merchandise, not available in any store!











How about a Watchmen tissue box?


Or a Watchmen coffee mug? (The phone jack was necessary to balance the mug on the scanner.)

Let me know what YOU can invent?

Have a Cool Yule, Ghoul!

All I Want for Christmas Is a Superman Movie Viewer!

Once again thanks to Mike at Bartlesville's Time Warp Comics, here's an unopened Superman Movie Viewer.

The art on the front is adapted from the (Curt Swan) Aurora Superman model kit.

The Superman art on the back looks to be a Kurt Schaffenberger Supes.

Compare and Contrast!

While reading a fine old comic, Action 288, I was struck by the final panel in the title story, "The Man Who Exposed Superman!" There's a fine drawing by Curt Swan showing Clark Kent, with Krypto, standing in front of the abandoned Kent home in Smallville.

Something about their stance struck a chord in my memory, and soon I was able to place where I'd seen that image before -- on the cover of the 9/11 comic, volume 1.

Anyway, that's what's roaming about the little grey cells this evening.

Have a great weekend!

Another Reason to Hate Doctor Light

(Apologies in advance for the partial display of the images here in the blog. The links into photobucket will show the whole image. I'm still learning, folks! Thanks for your patience.)

I picked up this little gem Saturday from my friend Mike at Time Warp Comics in Bartlesville, OK (my home town).

Here's what My Comic Shop.com (https://www.mycomicshop.com/) has to say about "The Secret of the Sinister Lighthouse":

Part of series Mini Comic Sugar Crisp Super Heroes "The Secret of the Sinister Lighthouse" features Batman, Robin, Superman, Wonder Woman and Aquaman in a 16-page, full color mini comic (4-1/2 x 3-1/2 inches). The Super Friends must unite against the illuminating villainy of Dr. Light. Published in 1980 as a cereal box giveaway item from Post Cereals. No cover price.

Read for yourself!

Farewell to Uncle Forry

Fangs for the memories:
Of Frankenstein and Drac,
Of Wolf Man and his pack,
The punning binge that made Moms cringe
But kept kids coming back;
We thank you so much!

Fangs for the memories:
The spider scene in Kong,
Senior and Junior Lon,
The Joie de vivre each kid received
Which told us we belonged;
We thank you so much!


Here's a 1x1-inch sketch of Forrest J Ackerman, scanned from Famous Monsters of Filmland #104, January, 1974, and played with a little.

No Hair Gel on the Wig, Please!

In Action 273, cover-dated February 1961, DC had Supergirl artist Jim Mooney propose several "newer" hairstyles for Linda Lee. It seems readers were complaining about those brunette pigtails.

As I recall, the (maybe fixed) poll gave Linda the "Campus Cuddle-Bun" style. Frankly, though I don't care much for Streaky the Super-Cat, Streaky the Super-Haircut I DO like!

What do YOU think?

Here's the link to the photo, since BlogSpot seems to not like to show it directly upon clicking:

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Not Available (any more) in Any Store!

To help with your Super Christmas shopping, here's an ad from about 50 years ago. *sigh* If only we had that proverbial time machine to buy all this neat stuff.

No, not so I could sell it as MINT IN BOX nowadays, either!

Just Checking In

Here's a Christmas image to say "Howdy" to all my Super-Pals while I am at work today.

John A Brown was a local Oklahoma Department store.

Hitting the "Mute" Button

In UFO/Unsolved Mysteries circles, "mute" isn't a button on yout TV remote. It's short for "mutilation" of livestock or other animals.

Since the 1960s or before, folks have been finding their free-roving animals -- livestock, dogs in the backyard, horses -- dead and cut up, sometimes with parts removed.

Sometimes investigations point to predators. Other times, cellular damage and other findings indicate a technological cause.

Once in a while, lights in the sky or other activity hs been noted where animals are later discovered. Occasionally, an animal has been found with its legs broken in a way only possible if it were dropped from a height.

The whole cultural "meme" of black helicopters spying on you came from the cattle mutilation tales.

Now, explanations have run from from them ol' little green men, to government experiments. The aliens want to modify animal flesh as part of their plans to create an alien-human hybrid. With these views, you'll often hear that pig DNA is nearly identical to human DNA, etc.

The government side of the theory bank usually takes the view that the US government (or parts thereof) are taking samples from randomly "free-range" critters to test for radiation poisoning or some such. One of the latest offshoots proposes that the animal parts taken are analyzed for the presence of prions, the chief indicator of Mad Cow Disease, BSE (Bovine Spongiform Enchephalitis).

All I know is, when I read about such things I get hungry for a hamburger!

That Connivin' Lois!

Take a gander at the cover of Superman's Girl Friend, Lois Lane #59, dated August 1965. Given Smallville's latest few angles, this cover scene may well take place on the CW in a couple of weeks!

But look in the lower right-hand corner for the Extra! In another Let's-Make-Lois-Crazy story (we all know she DESERVES IT), Superman and Batman get together to put another knot in the tail of that lil' ol' curious kitty named Lois Lane.

Check out the fine Curt Swan art. Note how Bruce (Batman) Wayne has a squarer jaw than Clark (Superman) Kent. Also see how Swan's renderings of Lois are less cartoonish and more true-to-life than the Schaffenberger art on the cover.

It starts out innocently (!) enough. Superman, on an outer-space mission, gives Batman an anti-gravity belt and asks the Caped Crusader to don a DIFFERENT cape (and a Superman face mask) to keep an eye on Lois. So Batman-playing-Superman rescues Lois, as shown in the story's Splash Page.

Bruce doesn't know that Lois revived quickly enough to ID him as Gotham's favorite playboy. Get a load of her gloating daydream, figuring out how to wrap Bruce-Superman around her little wedding-ring finger.

Soon Lois's plan works! Bruce falls in love with her, while Lois reads his every action as confirmation of his super-powers. As you can read in page 8 of the story, Lois just HAS to brag to her sister Lucy about her plot. And, just returned from outer space, a nosy Super-Someone with super-hearing happens to be eavesdropping, and decides on a little twist to Lois's plot.

Just think! if only Lois could have kept her yap shut, she might have found herself Mrs. Bruce (Batman) Wayne. Not too much of a disappointment, you think?

Just wait until the Best Man flies in!

So, on page 9 of the tale, we see Lois break it off while Bruce bravely tries to carry on with a broken *sniff* heart. Now, while the last panel may sound cruel and full of male asininity, think over Lois's behavior in this story.

Lois has plotted and schemed and dissembled, all because she (mistakenly) thought she was going, through trickery, to marry Superman in his Secret Identity. At least, judging by THIS story, she DID deserve to have a knot jerked in her (pretty little) tail, don't you agree?

CBS -- Tool of the "Magic" Industry

Anyway, that's my opinion after watching last week's episode of Numbers on CBS -- the episode with the disappearing magicianette reappearing as a corpse after the always-dangerous, sometimes fatal "girl-in-the-water-tank" trick.

Now, maybe this is just me. But as soon as I saw the "trick" with the girl in the tank, surrounded by water, and the aforementioned water filled with swirly orange-gold confetti leaves, I said to myself, "Umm, nope. Tchh -- uh-uh!" (Apologies to the Vancombe Lady.)

Have you seen one of those "aquarium spinning lights" you can buy at flea markets and other places? Where the fish spin one way and the background turns in the other direction? Tell me honestly, did you really believe that there was water flowing around the light bulb in the center?

No, you just have a couple of transparencies of plastic spinning in opposite directions.

In the Numbers episode, all that folderol about how strong the glass would have to be to hold "x" amount of water, and the power of the pumps to feed it into the tank -- what a bunch of specious nonsense.

I figure that the gal stands inside a dry central tube, with a fan below the grid she stands on, the fan gently wafting her hair in waterlike fashion.

Between the outer wall of the gal's tube, and the inner wall of the ouside, there is a few inches (the least space, the better for water pressure) of hollow space where water and golden papery leaves are pumped. There's plenty of visual distortion to blur the image of the (dry) woman within.

I think the Nefarious Magician's Union for Keeping People in the Dark must have paid off CBS big-time to get the network to play along with the whole stupid idea of filling the tub with water.

Yeah, don't start about Houdini -- this trick on Numbers was NOT about the gal holding her breath, it was just about vanishing and comong back again. A soaking-wet, reappearing magicianette is probably NOT on the bill.

"Pandora's Bride" Book Review

Every few years, Universal Studios comes out with some officiated product, which not only helps keep the monsters as "properties" active, it also slakes the thirst of us fans.

The last couple of years have seen a novel each about the big four or five -- Dracula, the Wolf Man, the Creature from the Black Lagoon, the Mummy, Big Frankie, and this one, The Bride of Frankenstein: Pandora's Bride, by Elizabeth Hand. All are published by Dark Horse Press.

What's good: the idea of the female creature, who takes the name Pandora, learning about the world and making allies and enemies. The idea of interaction with other fictional people -- people from other fictions, I mean. The idea of her again meeting the Monster and becoming friends (he can grow and learn, too).

What's bad: The choice of good guys and bad guys. In this tale, Dr Pretorius is like a New Ager's idea of God -- he's charming, whimsical, well-wishing, and powerless, except to create imperfect beings who outgrow him.

In this tale, Henry Frankenstein isn't the pathetic, neurotic genius seen in the films -- a man torn by self-doubt. No, he's an evil, endlessly rich fanatical genius who desires to enslave all women as domestic robots, because (in Hand's view), THAT'S WHAT MEN WANT.

This either says a lot about misanthropy on Hand's part, or tells us Too Much Information about her formative years.

Then we find out that Henry Frankenstein, that mean ol' slimy devil, isn't even the REAL Mad Genius behind it all.

No, the ultimate villain is a character so marginal that in the two films (Frankenstein and Bride ) they were played by two different performers!

What's fun anyway: Mixing it up with characters from M , Metropolis, The Cabinet of Dr Caligari , and other fictions. Somebody tell me, who are Wykstan and Christopher? Are any of the night-club types characters from Caberet?

This book is set in Germany, between WWI and WWII. Another book in the series featuring the male Monster, Frankenstein: The Shadow of Frankenstein by Stefan Petrucha, also includes Baron Frankenstein and his creation, but is set in the 1880s. Chronology impairment much?

This tells us that the editors of this series couldn't care less about any internal whatchamacallit, they just wanted to sell some books to fanboys.

Oops! I bought one.

Anyway, if you are a Psycho Nut Completist like me, or merely somebody who believes that a "Y" chromosome denotes evil, feel free to read this book.

It's a Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Well, as a part of longstanding (personal) tradition, I finished reading Ray Bradbury's Something Wicked This Way Comes around 10PM last night.

Re-reading, actually. This might be something like the twentieth time. Shivers, hopes, evil, victory over the emptiness of Emptiness, all wrapped around friendship and Father-Son appreciation. I love it!

A few years ago, I lost (temporarily) my 1st paperback printing of this great book, so I bought a newer printing. Then, I was thankful to re-discover the original. I've gone back and forth between copies. This year I read the newer one, a 1998 Avon printing.

Also, for the first time, I took a good hard gander at the (small) cover art. Only about 2 x 2 1/2 inches, its intricacies had escaped me. Here's a blown-up scan.

While the picture doesn't recreate the specifics of the carousel scene at book's end, it's still pretty darn good, to quote Sir Paul. Brr!

Enjoy your transition, this midnight, from Halloween to All Saint's Day.