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Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Sorry, Been Reading!

Howdy folks, a mail-truck-full of books have arrived here at the ol' Fortress of Markitude the last week or so.

In between working 50+ hours a week, reading new books, and getting started on SEASON TWO of the Man from U.N.C.L.E. DVD set, I've been busier than a Three-eyed Kryptonian Babootch in a pepper factory!


This book arrived Saturday afternoon, and I finished it up Sunday evening.

It's a pretty interesting read. Among other things, I learned that the casting of Supergirl got down to Helen Slater and Brooke Shields, and that some of the helming crew (producers? writers? director? I don't remember), to this day, say that they wish they'd've gone with the Calvins girl.
I haven't forgotten you, meinen Super-Freunden! Gotta run to choir rehearsal now, though. Love ya!

Friday, February 01, 2008

Copyright by Joanne Siegel and Heirs!


This hyar guy's name is no longer to be found much around the DC Corral. Ever since the Law back East done judged 'im to be propertied to Jerry Siegel's Estate, all of a sudden there's nary a Superboy to be found at the Dagnabbed Company whut got rich off'n him and his kin.
Anyways, this hyar guy, as seen on this card, is a carbon-copy of some type.
The news in these parts is, that the latest guy to bear the name has been renamed Stupid-Man Prime or somethin' suchlike.
All because the Dangblasted Critters are skeered to use this hyar fella's name OUT LOUD and IN PRINT, cuz iff'n they DO, they'll have to pay a few cents to Pappy Siegel's poor grandchildren.
In my sights, it's Durned Criminal to treat the Siegels thataway.
Whut do YOU fellers think?

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

"Big Gun Superman"?


Here's the card for a Superman action figure based on the wrap-up of the "Death and Return" storyline.

They don't say HOW Supes was "left without his super powers," but that's the storyline where this suit came from.
Hmm. Looks to me like that "Laser Superman" gun probably outweighs the guy carrying it! It's supposed to be an "equalizer," kind of like how Bucky, the new Captain America, carries a sidearm because, unlike Steve Rogers, he hasn't got super soldier powers.
How big would the holster be for that thing!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

The Tyrant Superman!





















Ripped from the pages of the Daily Planet comes the latest instalment of Three-Part Thursday!

Superman #172, cover-dated October 1964, featured this three-part tale that was NOT an Imaginary Story nor a Dream! Yes, Superman lost his powers and had to choose a replacement from Kandor to carry on the S-Shield, in this fine story by Edmond Hamilton, with Curt Swan pencils and inks by Klein & Moldoff.

Great splash page, eh? Plain ol’ Clark Kent looks up just in time to see the new Superman fly overhead. Y’know, now that I think of it, I think Ar-Val looks a little like Mr. Swanderful himself! What do YOU think? Compare this photo of Curt Swan in his Army fatigues with this shot of Ar-Val.

In Part I of our story, events fly fast and furious. A meteor long ago spotted by Jor-El and discovered to be deadly even to super-beings in passing near Earth. Since Superman daren’t leave Earth unprotected should he fail in his mission to change the meteor’s course, he must select a … successor!

After a competition of wits as well as brawn between two Kandorian candidates, Superman selects his last-resort replacement, a fellow named Ar-Val.

The unthinkable happens! Superman averts the meteor, but it robs him of his powers. He struggles to Earth and his Fortress with just enough strength to summon Ar-val, ho now becomes … the new Superman!

Check out the great, emotionally moving art on this page, where Superman fights the meteor back into space. Man, you can tell that Supes is a-hurtin’!


As Part II opens, Clark has resigned himself to Ar-Val’s replacing him. But then the newswire reports that Luthor has escaped prison, and Clark remembers how Luthor had vowed to kill Lois and Lana in revenge. But when Clark begs, kneeling, for Ar-Val to rush to protect the women who love the old Superman, he’s rebuffed. Ar-Val basically says that his job is to punish crime, not prevent it!

Yet Luthor, aided by Brainiac, has acquired the means to exact his terrible revenge, while Ar-Val spurns even Jimmy Olsen’s plea in Kal-El’s behalf. Jimmy then uses his Legion of Super-Heroes Time Monitor to contact the Legion. Using a weird device across time, they are able to temporarily charge Superman with the powers of Saturn Girl, Cosmic Boy, and the Invisible Kid, while Jimmy hands over some Elastic Serum.

Soon the old Superman has taken off in the Daily Planet’s Flying Newsroom in search of his most dangerous foes, the Brainiac-Luthor Team. And soon he discovers that even his borrowed super-powers can’t help him as he is trapped.

Part II ends with the fiends boasting of their murderous plans to a drugged, captive Kal-El, while Ar-Val is busy building arches and statues all over Metropolis to glorify his own status as the New Superman.

Remember, this is a true story, not an imaginary what-if story!

Part III opens with the smug Ar-Val preening before another self-congratulatory monument to himself. In a move to ingratiate himself even more to Metropolis, he takes a gaggle of reporters on a show-off tour, when Jimmy Olsen easily spots how Ar-Val has used his powers to create emergencies to “fix.” In exchange for Jimmy’s silence, Ar-Val agrees to follow up on Jimmy’s and “old” Superman’s suspicions – just as Lois and Lana are captured by Brainiac and Luthor!

When Ar-Val swoops down with Jimmy, Brainiac is prepared with a Kryptonite javelin! But with a frantic burst of strength, the “old” Superman breaks through his drugged state to dive in front of the missile, giving his life for Ar-Val.

The infuriated new Superman quickly mops up the devilish duo while Jimmy and Lois mourn Kal-El’s loss. But then, in Brainiac’s lab, Ar-Val discovers the device earlier used by Brainiac to cure Luthor of a bullet wound incurred during his jailbreak. “This apparatus,” says Ar-val, “resembles the ‘Healing Ray’ used by Kryptonian surgeons! Let’s try it …”

And, miracle of miracles, Kal-El is healed!

In a tragic dénouement to the tale, Ar-Val snags the merely mortal Kal-El and hauls him to the Fortress, where the remorseful new Superman has decided how to repay the former Man of Steel for his own egotistical shortcomings – failings which nearly led to the deaths of Lana, Lois, and Kal-El himself. It’s a strange power transfer involving huge amounts of electricity at a certain frequency.

Tragically, the power transfer, while restoring Kal-El’s powers, also turns the atoms of the donor – Ar-Val – to stone. Superman bursts his bonds to try and stop the procedure just in time to hear Ar-Val’s final words of apology: “I wanted to be a great Superman, like you … I failed, but this will make amends …”

So, like all serial adventures, this one ends with the status quo restored, but only after sending compassionate readers through an emotional wringer.

After all, who hasn’t seen a friend in trouble and been powerless to help? Who hasn’t felt inadequate after seeing somebody else doing a job WE once could do? And who among us hasn’t shown off a bit when given the chance?

May we learn our own needs for humility before we become petrified with shame!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Ho-Hum, It's Conduit


In the issue or two leading up to the first appearance of Kenny Braverman, aka "Conduit," we were assured that this guy was evil, really nasty, bad as bad can be, a nemesis who's been Superman's enemy for years, a super new deadly foe, on and on ...
Then he appeared and hung around for a couple of issues, and flaked.
Just another thud-in-the-pan.
Kinda like Madeline Kahn said in Young Frankenstein, "All you men are all alike. Five or six quick ones, and it's over." Or something like that.
Anyway, I don't think we'd seen hide nor cable of Conduit again!
Tomorrow: the return of Three-Part Thursday!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Befitting a Man of Steel!


Here's the card for the "regular" STEEL figure, with accompanying caption describing John Irons' tumble into history.

Is it just me, or does the last sentence describing Irons' character just *reek* of "How do we talk about him and tiptoe around the whole race thing?"
I mean, he's a great scientist and a tough guy with a strong sense of right and wrong. He's proud and protective of his niece.
Maybe it's just the word "man" in the sentence. As if we thought he was girly or something.
Maybe it's just me.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

I Like the Old Ways (*sigh*)



Here's another Kenner action figure card, for "Ultra Shield Superman."


He's got a special armored suit. However, there's no notice given as to what the suit is made of.


And the entire head area is visible. Since Green Kryptonite rays contain visible light, then I would think that at least SOME of the Green K radiation could get through that glass.


And, since Kryptonite is not "super-tough" but actually described as brittle in the "original documents" (Silver Age, that is), Supes DOESN'T NEED" a "powerful blasting rocket" -- except maybe to sell action figures?


Anyway, here's a glimpse of an original Ultra Shield Superman -- the lead suit devised by Mister Super-Scientist to battle Luthor in Action #249 after Luthor drinks a Green-K cocktail to become ... "The Kryptonite Man!"
Thank you children, and good-night.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

I'm So Confused!


Here we have "Ultra Heat Vision Superman."
Wait a minute, I thought it was Ultra Boy who had Ultra Vision.
What's that exo-skeleton got to do with heat vision, ultra or otherwise?
Somebody help the boy!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Supes in the Hood!


They call him "Street Guardian Superman," but it's just an excuse by the girls who work at DC to see a Kryptonian in leather!


Of course, the card would look better if the art didn't look like look like Superman were settling onto a toilet.

Monday, January 14, 2008

A Spirit That Befits a Man of Steel!


Here's one of John Henry Irons's manifestations as an action figure. While I suppose the action figure and the "collector card" were inspired by the same concept are, there's no way that a little plastic face could capture the kick-butt attitude shown in the card, eh?

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Another Kenner Card

Here we have "Solar Suit Superman," who likes to wear red plastic plumbing trees on his space helmet.

Maybe he wore this in space because if he looked this way around Earth he'd scare little children.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Kenner Action Figure Cards 1


From 1995 we have cards from Kenner's series of action figures. These came out soon after Superman's death and return. As you can see from this card, he's got those nasty black circles under his eyes and the long (regeneration matrix-length) hair.




Note that Superman flies through force of will. Also that you can read more about him in DC Comics. Ya think?

Monday, January 07, 2008

A Super Dictionary. I Am Talking About a Book with Definitions




This is the Super Dictionary from the 1970s. It uses silly art of DC characters for didactic definitions that always use the meaning in a sentence.




Like, Braniac says, "Good morning Superman! In this time of day after sunrise and before noon I am going to murder Lois Lane and rape Krypto with a probe! It will be a good morning for me but not a good morning for you!"




(This definition of morning is not used in the Super Dictionary.)

BTW, I have a copy of this for sale on Amazon, along with a bunch of other fan and nonfan items. End of commercial!
The art may be by Alex Toth, or one of the Kuberts. Where else but on this book's back cover can you get such a fine view of so many superheroes' derrieres?
See you soon! Please don't forget to write.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

The Last Wonder Bread Card


Saving the loveliest for last, here is the final card of the ones I collected (I think) from Wonder Bread.
It's the cover of The Daring New Adventures of Supergirl #1.
Maybe this is cynicism caused by adulthood, but it kind of amazes me that the DC powers (Jenette Khan maybe?) approved that phrase as a title. I mean, come on! Calling the series The Daring New Adventures is like saying, all of her PAST life was not daring, or new, or adventurous.
Also makes a promise nigh on impossible to keep!

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Another Wonder Bread Card




This card, reproducing George Perez's art, is of course Perez's own rendition of Joe Shuster's

cover for Superman #1 back in 1939.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

The New Year from U.N.C.L.E.


Well, I'm only four discs into the complete U.N.C.L.E. series set.






Besides the show episodes, the set also came with two "bonus discs" in little cardboard sleeves. I immediately tossed those sleeves back into the nifty briefcase box the series comes in, and made my own full sized DVD insert as a wrapper for a 2-disc case.






To quote the Cabana Lady from MAD TV , "You Like? I Like!"

Monday, December 31, 2007

It's a Wonder!




Of course, in the 70+ plus years since Action #1, there have been many more promo cards than just the Superman Vitamins we saw last week.




Dated 1978, I'm pretty sure that these were packaged with Wonder Bread. I could be wrong, of course. I DID buy the product they came with myself, and I think it was Wonder.




Builds strong bodies twelve ways!

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Racing for Fun!



The Flash 302, October 1981, also featured this centerfold spread of Jay Garrick, Wally West, and Barry Allen, three “generations” of Flashes, at the end of a footrace.

The first image is the actual centerfold. The second image is after I made the thing a little less wide, I think this one looks a lot better. What do you think?



This widening of shapes – mostly bodies and faces – was a continual feature of Carmine Infantino’s art for The Flash in this period. It’s like he drew his penciled art on Silly Putty and somebody stretched them out sideways ten or twenty percent!

Friday, December 28, 2007

I’d Buy a Cup Cake from This Man!


From The Flash 302, October 1981, comes this one-page ad for Hostess Cup Cakes.

You get a big delight in every bite!

You also get some fun Curt Swan art! I think that the Crime Director, in the last panel, looks like Kurtwood Smith, more recently known as the father in the 70s Show.


By the way, has anybody ever heard of this “villain,” the Crime Director?

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Super Mousepad!

Well, we got us this hyar mousepad with Superman and Clark Kent mishmashed together on it.


Actually, it's a lenticular image which shows Supes from one angle and Clark disrobing into his super outfit from the other angle.


I guess it's been used too much. It's useless nowadays as a mousepad, because it's so smooth the the little mouse ball just slides around!


I think it's pretty neat that my scanner caught the main Super-image but also a "ghost" image of Clark changing too.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

The Last of Lovecraft's Heads







These are the last of John Holmes's covers for Ballantine's 1973 Lovecraft paperbacks. Ooh, pretty scary, kiddies!
PS Santa Joyce was very sweet and for Christmas gave me the 41-disc complete Man from U.N.C.L.E. series. So, even at two or three episodes a night, it would be more than a month to watch'em all! What exquisite torture!

Monday, December 24, 2007

Different Styles for Lovecraft Covers







These three have a different look than the "weird head" covers.






The one for The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath is more realistic.






The ones for Charles Dexter Ward and the book of Lovercraft "revivions," The Horror in the Museum, have a strange pixilated-watercolor appearance.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

What the First Ballantine Printings Looked Like




These two covers, by Gervasio Gallardo, are what Ballantine's original covers were like. These were the 1971 printings of stories and poems.

On Fungi from Yuggoth, the octopuslike thing with a green Hallowe'en masklike face ain't scary. He doesn't look much like a fun guy either (fungi = fun guy, get it? yuk-yuk).
I bet the bug-eyed wingless flying guys were supposed to be Night-Gaunts. But we all know that Lovecraft's Night-Gaunts had leatery, batlike wings, the way he described them.
Of course, I guess one could argue that they didn't use those wings while flying ...

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Where Did They Get Such Weird Images?




Here are a couple of more covers from Ballantine's 1970s paperbacks of H.P. Lovecraft's tales.




These are actually Volumes 1 and 2 of Tales from the Cthulhu Mythos, tales wherein other writers took up the burden of the HPL worldview.




The cover artist is listed as John Holmes.




Surely not THAT John Holmes (the dirty movie guy)!
Later printings features art by Russ Titelman, but these by Holmes are the creepiest by far, to me anyway.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Remembering Eitch-Pe-Ell




OK. You're 16 years old and just got your driver's license. You're a book nerd who already read four grades above your "supposed-to-be" reading level, until they ran out of grades above you. You've always liked monsters and Twilight-Zoney stuff.

You go into the bookstore and see paperbacks with covers like these.


Wow! You've found a modern-day (you think) Edgar Allan Poe!



Pretty psychedelic, huh?


These are from the Lancer Books paperback editions of Lovecraft stories.


You can tell the Colours volume reflects the story "The Whisperer in Darkness" inside, and I think it's a pretty sure bet that the Dunwich Horror cover is supposed to reflect Wilbur Whately or his brother.


The next few postings will feature covers from the Ballantine Lovecraft paperbacks.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

The Last of the Superman Vitamins Cards

Dang it, I never got ALL 12 of the "set" of promo cards featuring DC headliners that were included in Superman Vitamins.

These are the last two I have. Of the two cards missing, surely Mama Luthor's boy Lex was one of them!


Note that Selina Kyle has reformed and workes as a security consultant. Only in the wild and wacky world of comic books would someone hire a known multiple-offender felon to watch over your interests!


No hard felines! (arr arr arr)

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Good Characters and Naughty

Cards 8 and 9 of the Superman Vitamins are shown below.


And Howdy-Do to Allen, who was nice enough to mention that he hadn't seen these cards!


We'll also get to some DC Super-type cards that were a premium from (I think) Wonder bread, as well as some scary-type ones too.
Note that Linda Danvers is a TV actress! In an afternoon soap opera, if I remember those Superman Family stories correctly...

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Clark Gets His Own Card!

Here are the next two cards (numberwise that is).

Clark uses glasses "and other means" to disguise himself. Remember how he used his glasses to unconsciously super-hypnotize people? I think it was published AFTER these cards were printed in 1982.

I don't know in what way Dianna is "descended" from the Amazons, but if she knows all the fighting techniques of ancient Greeks, when is she gonna hurl Greek Fire at somebody, huh?

Monday, December 10, 2007

More Delicious Vitamin Cards






Here are a few more of the Premium Cards from Superman Vitamins.




Note that Batman was merely "upset" by the death of his parents. Hmmm...


Now, I don't know when Jason Todd's parents were killed by Killer Croc, but we know that it WAS before the 1986 Crisis, as evidenced by the 1982 copyright tags.
Also I note that Robin is no longer a "Boy" Wonder, but a "Teen Wonder."
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