Every
Monday we’re going to be silly. For today
I’m going to look back in fondness at some of the little ditties learned in
grade school.
***********
The thunder roared, the lightning crashed, a tree fell …
and a frog got smashed.
The first
line is to be declaimed dramatically, as if winding up to a grand climax, while
the last line is said quietly.
***********
One bright day in
the middle of the night
Two dead men got
up to fight.
Back to back they
faced each other,
Drew their swords,
and shot each other.
A deaf policeman
heard the noise
And came and
killed those two dead boys.
If you don’t
believe what I say is true,
Ask the blind man
-- he saw it too.
I had to hear this one a long time before finally learning
the whole thing.
***********
Branded was an NBC
TV show that only ran one season, I think.
Its theme was an actual song, with lyrics that
included, “Branded! Marked with a
coward's shame. What do you do when
you're branded, Will you fight for your name?”
Of course,
the grade-school version was different.
All I can remember is,
Stranded! Stranded
on the toilet bowl!
What will you do
when your stranded,
And you don’t have
a roll!
***********
This
one is a legacy from my unmatched big brother Robert:
Look up … look
down … look all around.
Look at my thumb …
gee, you’re dumb!
If
somebody followed these directions to the end, they deserved to be called dumb!
***********
And,
from cub scouts:
Granny’s in the cellar, oh can’t you smell her?
Makin’ biscuits on a dirty stove.
In her eyes there is matter and it’s drippin’ in the batter,
And the [*snort sniff sound*] is runnin’ from her nose!
Less
familiar is the male cognate:
Grandpa’s in the attic, he’s a fanatic,
Savin’ all the boogers he can pick.
He cooks ’em in a pot and he keeps ’em pipin’ hot,
And he’ll
[*slurp-slurp sound*] some upon a stick!
See you
Monday!
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