Mark's Super Blog

Thursday, November 13, 2008

CBS -- Tool of the "Magic" Industry

Anyway, that's my opinion after watching last week's episode of Numbers on CBS -- the episode with the disappearing magicianette reappearing as a corpse after the always-dangerous, sometimes fatal "girl-in-the-water-tank" trick.

Now, maybe this is just me. But as soon as I saw the "trick" with the girl in the tank, surrounded by water, and the aforementioned water filled with swirly orange-gold confetti leaves, I said to myself, "Umm, nope. Tchh -- uh-uh!" (Apologies to the Vancombe Lady.)

Have you seen one of those "aquarium spinning lights" you can buy at flea markets and other places? Where the fish spin one way and the background turns in the other direction? Tell me honestly, did you really believe that there was water flowing around the light bulb in the center?

No, you just have a couple of transparencies of plastic spinning in opposite directions.

In the Numbers episode, all that folderol about how strong the glass would have to be to hold "x" amount of water, and the power of the pumps to feed it into the tank -- what a bunch of specious nonsense.

I figure that the gal stands inside a dry central tube, with a fan below the grid she stands on, the fan gently wafting her hair in waterlike fashion.

Between the outer wall of the gal's tube, and the inner wall of the ouside, there is a few inches (the least space, the better for water pressure) of hollow space where water and golden papery leaves are pumped. There's plenty of visual distortion to blur the image of the (dry) woman within.

I think the Nefarious Magician's Union for Keeping People in the Dark must have paid off CBS big-time to get the network to play along with the whole stupid idea of filling the tub with water.

Yeah, don't start about Houdini -- this trick on Numbers was NOT about the gal holding her breath, it was just about vanishing and comong back again. A soaking-wet, reappearing magicianette is probably NOT on the bill.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

"Pandora's Bride" Book Review

Every few years, Universal Studios comes out with some officiated product, which not only helps keep the monsters as "properties" active, it also slakes the thirst of us fans.

The last couple of years have seen a novel each about the big four or five -- Dracula, the Wolf Man, the Creature from the Black Lagoon, the Mummy, Big Frankie, and this one, The Bride of Frankenstein: Pandora's Bride, by Elizabeth Hand. All are published by Dark Horse Press.

What's good: the idea of the female creature, who takes the name Pandora, learning about the world and making allies and enemies. The idea of interaction with other fictional people -- people from other fictions, I mean. The idea of her again meeting the Monster and becoming friends (he can grow and learn, too).

What's bad: The choice of good guys and bad guys. In this tale, Dr Pretorius is like a New Ager's idea of God -- he's charming, whimsical, well-wishing, and powerless, except to create imperfect beings who outgrow him.

In this tale, Henry Frankenstein isn't the pathetic, neurotic genius seen in the films -- a man torn by self-doubt. No, he's an evil, endlessly rich fanatical genius who desires to enslave all women as domestic robots, because (in Hand's view), THAT'S WHAT MEN WANT.

This either says a lot about misanthropy on Hand's part, or tells us Too Much Information about her formative years.

Then we find out that Henry Frankenstein, that mean ol' slimy devil, isn't even the REAL Mad Genius behind it all.

No, the ultimate villain is a character so marginal that in the two films (Frankenstein and Bride ) they were played by two different performers!

What's fun anyway: Mixing it up with characters from M , Metropolis, The Cabinet of Dr Caligari , and other fictions. Somebody tell me, who are Wykstan and Christopher? Are any of the night-club types characters from Caberet?

This book is set in Germany, between WWI and WWII. Another book in the series featuring the male Monster, Frankenstein: The Shadow of Frankenstein by Stefan Petrucha, also includes Baron Frankenstein and his creation, but is set in the 1880s. Chronology impairment much?

This tells us that the editors of this series couldn't care less about any internal whatchamacallit, they just wanted to sell some books to fanboys.

Oops! I bought one.

Anyway, if you are a Psycho Nut Completist like me, or merely somebody who believes that a "Y" chromosome denotes evil, feel free to read this book.

Friday, October 31, 2008

It's a Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Well, as a part of longstanding (personal) tradition, I finished reading Ray Bradbury's Something Wicked This Way Comes around 10PM last night.

Re-reading, actually. This might be something like the twentieth time. Shivers, hopes, evil, victory over the emptiness of Emptiness, all wrapped around friendship and Father-Son appreciation. I love it!

A few years ago, I lost (temporarily) my 1st paperback printing of this great book, so I bought a newer printing. Then, I was thankful to re-discover the original. I've gone back and forth between copies. This year I read the newer one, a 1998 Avon printing.

Also, for the first time, I took a good hard gander at the (small) cover art. Only about 2 x 2 1/2 inches, its intricacies had escaped me. Here's a blown-up scan.

While the picture doesn't recreate the specifics of the carousel scene at book's end, it's still pretty darn good, to quote Sir Paul. Brr!

Enjoy your transition, this midnight, from Halloween to All Saint's Day.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

This Is Halloween (again)

Here is another Hostess Monster Pack cakes mask. Carry a metal lunchbox and weart a five-pound bag of sugar on each foot to get the walk correctly.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

This Is a Halloween Book Review

No Fun, Just Over-Analytical Page Use

This book -- obviously a textbook -- is kind of like what they say about "effective" sermons -- first you tell your audience what you're going to say; then you say it; then you tell the audience what you told them.

Similarly, in the first pages Prof Picart uses Koestler and other buzz-type words to come up with "shadows" of feminine characteristics in some horror film/comedies. Then she does the good ol' categorization of such women and first-shadow, second-shadow, third-shadow, or -- wow, what fun! -- aspects of more than one shadow of femininity.

In the same tedious way, we have analyses of male characters as being in protector roles, or mad-scientist roles, and so on.

Then Prof Picart sums up and tells us what she told us.

Now, this might be great stuff to use as a basis for impressing people. But as far as teaching something or to *gasp* entertainingly informing somebody, this book is as dry as Ray Bradbury's Dust Witch.

After reading this book and being properly impressed with the author's scholarship (but unimpressed as to the author's capability to enjoy what she analyzes), I still must have missed the part where she explains why these films -- Young Frankenstein, Rocky Horror Picture Show; the Terminator and Alien franchises; and others -- are worth such exhaustive analysis?

My take:

Things should be examined, NOT because it's a course requirement, but because the things (films where horror also has a comedic element) are worthwhile expressions of the human artistic impulse. Monsters are an undeniable fascination. There's an undeniable attraction to the idea of graveyard humor in an attempt to "get a handle" on the intimations of mortality presented by the graveyard gang. Therefore, why not look at a few treatments of the combination of both?

Leave out the tired male/female categorizations. Why can't people just be people? Sometimes a Mad Scientist is "just a cigar"!

I've read involving books, and interesting textbooks, about film and fantasy media. But this book needs a pie in the face. Lighten up!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

This Is More Halloween

Hey Kids!

Get your Mom or Dad to print this picture and cut out the mask. You too can appear to be the top half of a Munsters character!

Monday, October 27, 2008

This Is Halloween (a bit more)

About a decade ago Hostess had Monster Cakes for Halloween, with special Munsters-related packaging. Here's how the front of the box looked.

Friday, October 24, 2008

External links for USNW

This Is Halloween! (a bit)

Here is the cover of a 1991 official "Universal Monsters" coloring book.

This was before the finalization of the stars' heirs' legal tangles over the images of their parents, etc, in character makeup. That's why the paid-by-the-cover artist was doubtless directed to make sure that the characters don't identifiably match up with any of the actor(s) who may have played the various characters.

Get ready for the fun and thrills of Halloween!