A Super-Review of a Semi-Super Book

Today, here’s a look/review of a new book (DC-authorized of course) by Kevin J. Anderson, entitled The Last Days of Krypton.

In it Anderson looks at about the last couple of years of Krypton. He covers Brainiac and Kandor, Zod, Zor-El and Argo City, and more.

But how uninspired it all is! Anderson must have done five tons of timelines and planning, but somehow it all seems somehow even MORE depressing than the subject – a planet blows up and nearly everyone dies – requires.

Another thing that shows a distinct lack of creative impulse (and sloppy editing) is the constant use of EARTH TERMS, as spoken by people ON ANOTHER PLANET. It’s kind of irritating to read about “drawing the line” and pursuing your enemies to “take them out.”

On page 175 we hear about someone who “had a vested interest in the status quo.” Latin phrases on Krypton?

But the pièce de résistance of moronic writing/editing comes on page 230, when Zod – a guy living on Krypton – says to Jor-El – another guy living on Krypton – “I need to present my city as a new capital, a fait accompli – and soon.”

Wow! A study of English-French phrases must be an elective course at good ol’ Krypton University!

The point of all this is how jarring such out-of-place idioms are. Am I the only person to be distracted by such inelegance? Editors and copy-editors are paid to catch sore-thumb, dumb, out-of-place things like this!

Oh, I forgot to mention the part where Zod digs up Jax-Ur’s “Nova Javelins” and reads “Kilroy was here” on the casings. (Just kidding about that one.)

I also take issue with Anderson’s inability to decide which Krypton he’s telling us about. I mean, almost all of the stuff he mentions has its origins in the comics, of course, but he takes a lot of effort to include situations and characters that *could be* characters from the Chris Reeve movies.

Zod = Zod. Aethyr = Ursa. Nam-Ek = Non. That part’s easy. So, we’re following the movies, eh?

Then you have Zor-El being the underground researcher, while Jor-El has his head in the clouds. We’ve got somebody named Jax-Ur who blew up a Kryptonian moon. But it was centuries ago, and the name of the moon isn’t Wegthor (I forget the “new” name).

And the only people in the Phantom Zone are a bunch of political enemies of Zod.

And … and …

I think they call stories like these “Imaginary.”

Because by golly such a mish-mash of indecisive logorrhea certainly shouldn’t be “official.”

Where’s Elliott S! Maggin when you need him? He would’ve done us proud!

Another Neat Thing I Have Never Used

At a bookstore somewhere I found these Superman note cards with envelopes.

I guess it'll be no surprise that I've never used them!

They're just sitting around increasing in value (yeah, right!).

Secrets of the Fortress of Solitude

From Superman Annual #1, here's a double-page spread covering Superman's Arctic Fortress.

You can tell it's Swanderful art.

I took the liberty of blurring the appearance of the page crease at the center of this two-page spread.

I've got a question for anybody interested. Would you prefer these scans to be "as-is" colorwise -- complete with the slight yellowing of 40 years -- or a little bit "color-corrected" -- with a little more blue to look less "old"?

For example, the next image is "color-corrected.

From a later page in the Annual, here's the accompanying text piece.

Let me know what you think!

PS I bet that, unlike the "secret hideout" in Watchmen, Superman's Fortress didn't smell like a locker room and dirty socks, just because it was a "man cave."

I'd Rather Build Models than Get Prizes, Thank You

In #97, the Nov-Dec 1966 issue of The Adventures of Jerry Lewis, "Batman Meets Jerry!" with art by Bob Oskner.

I confess that the story is so disjointed that I gave up trying to follow it.

But check out the rear cover, more ads for great Aurora models! And only 98 cents to boot. Now, I had The Forgotten Prisoner once. I always figured that the name was made up to sound like it was a scene from some movie.

Somebody agrees with me. According to http://members.aol.com/thebananasplits/forgottenprisoner/ ,
"Actually there never was a movie for this character but there certainly could have been.
If you're at all familiar with the Forgotten Prisoner, imagine the possibilities of a movie.
The concept of this character was actually a combined effort between Aurora and
Famous Monsters of Filmland."

The other Jerry Lewis issue for today is #105, dated April 1968. It too is a marvel of dizziness to my very linear brain, so I gave up around the time that Lex Luthor crawled through Jerry's window in a Superman suit (or something like that).

On the back cover is a less fun ad, but one very familiar to Silver Age memories. "Make Money! Get Prizes!" Well, I'm proud to say that I never fell for it. Probably because I didn't want to cut up a comic for the coupon!

Not the Super-Ball I Grew Up With

OK. When I was 8 or 10, Wham-O merchandised the Superball. Now widely available as knock-offs abound (and rebound), the originals were a dull purplish color and about halfway between the size of a golf ball and a tennis ball.

This Super-Ball, on the other hand, is bigger than a softball! Under the "E" in Superman, is a fragment of a "Look! Up in the Air!" headline. Under the "M," kind of upside down, is a smaller headline, "Superman and Parasite Battle in City Sewers."

The image of Superman is kind of like a Grummett face, do ya think?

See ya next time!

A Tale of Two Pin-Ups

Here's an illustrated side-by-side look at Superman, as drawn by perhaps the two most influental Super-Artists (after Daddy Joe Shuster, of course).

The one with a brown frame around it, set in bright daylight, is by Wayne "women waver" Boring. I nicknamed him that because one of Boring's characteristic traits is to draw women with both hands flung up before them about shulder-height, as if somebody had told them "This is a stick-up."

This Boring pin-up is from the cover of Superman Annual #1.

The other one, with a dramatic "lightning striking again" backdrop, is by the great Mr. Swan. It was the centerfold of Action #340, which also introduced the Parasite to DC.

Boy, such Super-Manliness! It's enough to give Lois Lane the vapors!

I’m in a Model State of Mind!

(with apologies to Billy Joel)

Here are a couple of more simply fab comic-book ads for Aurora model kits.

My first guess is that Murphy Anderson drew the art for this ad for the Batman model. As you can see from the price, this kit was part of the “second wave” of models. All the original monster kits were 98 cents. Then the price jumped for them (and more recent monster kits such as King Kong and Bride of Frankenstein) to $1.49.

The new DC superhero kits like Superman, Superboy, and this Batman model were also $1.49.

But, hey! When a kid could make almost half a dollar in one afternoon by turning in abandoned pop bottles for 2 cents’ deposit each, even a rise in the cost of model-building could be coped with.

I mean, it’s not like we wanted to spend our money on *yuck* girls or anything!

I never managed to buy a Big Frankie, but he looks pretty cool from the ad. And read the tagline at the top of the ad! “Make a friend” – pretty neat, huh. But for five bucks, this was an investment that would probably have to wait until Christmas or Birthday came around – unless you could talk your big brother into buying it and building it, then letting you play with it!

Monsters Today, 3-Part Thursday Next Week!

Whew! I'm pooped. Hallowe'en is over for another year, and I'm regrouping my mental forces.

Unlike previous years, last year the visitors were pretty slim. In 2006, for instance, we had 85 ghouls, goblins, and other critters shamble to our door Trick-or-Treating.

This year, only 35.

Anywho, another fun thing about Aurora's monster models was the "Monster Customizing Kits' -- I think there were two instalments -- you could buy to "dress up" your models. The kits included spiders, rats, skulls, bones, and the like, to ceate your own diorama of deviltry.

The ad shown here was printed on the back of Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen #75, featuring a monster customizing contest.

Ah, the pleasures of childhood, when we knew that the worst monsters were imaginary!

Have a Weirdo Wednesday Hallowe’en!

Our final Weirdo Wednesday entry of 2007 features a story written by Big Blue’s co-creator, Jerry Siegel; penciled by the Action Ace’s best penciler, Curt Swan; and inked by a great scribe, George Klein.

Yes, it’s “The Voyage of the Mary Celeste II!” from Superman’s Pal, Jimmy Olsen #75, cover-dated March, 1964.

After Mr. Action writes a hit feature article about the mystery of the abandoned Mary Celeste, found adrift in the Azores December 15, 1872, he’s contacted by a rich industrialist, Jeff Conway. “The Mary Celeste mystery has always fascinated me,” Conway tells the reporter, “and so, I built this duplicate ship! It’s an expensive hobby, which I can well afford!”

Yes, it’s a full-scale replica of the famous ship, but also loaded with sonar and radio. Conway’s dream is to sail the replica along the same course as the original, just to see what will happen!

But Conway hasn’t been able to scare up (ha ha) a crew amongst the superstitious seamen of Metropolis Harbor. So it’s up to Conway’s appointed skipper, “Captain” James Bartholomew Olsen, to find a crew. Five seadogs volunteer, and the voyage sets out just fine, until …

Jimmy finds out that his five brave sailors are on the FBI’s Most Wanted list, and were maneuvered aboard the ship by Conway, whose shipping concern doesn’t mind a little smuggling (human and otherwise) on the side. And when the lugs make it to the nearest foreign shore, then it’ll be lights out – for good -- for Mrs. Olsen’s favorite son. They take his signal watch and set him to swabbing the decks.

Their plan is to hide in a secret compartment belowdecks so that it’ll seem that they, too, have fallen victim to the Mary Celeste’s curse.

But resourceful Jimmy turns the tables, grabs a gun, and orders the quintet topside, just as the ship crosses the last known coordinates of the original Mary Celeste. Then … a giant sea monster rises from the deeps and snatches the criminals with green scaly tentacles. Superman arrives, just in time, to rescue Jimmy from the gruesome creature.

The only thing that makes this story less than delicious is Superman’s inane word balloon, “No, no! Mustn’t touch! Leave Jimmy alone” I mean, really. Five other men have just drowned at this critter’s tentacles, and Superman talks to it like he’s scolding a three-year-old?

Still, Jimmy theorizes that this critter must have been aroused nine decades before by the original Mary Celeste’s passing, and was reawakened by her sister ship. Of course, how a sailing ship could make enough racket to awaken a creature that lived in a fissure at the bottom of the sea – I just can’t “sea” it!

Still, when I was seven, this tale made a deep impression. I remembered it for years, because of my anti-authoritarian interest in unexplained things – UFOs, sea serpents, Bigfoot, Atlantis, and strange disappearances.

It took twenty years or more before I discovered this story again, tracking it down in this here comic book.

Thanks for sharing some Weirdo Wednesdays with me. And, on this All Hallows’ Eve, remember what the butcher told me when he sold me the empty hot dog:

“Happy Hollow Weenie!”

That Purple Bench!

When I was a wee tyke (maybe six or so), I was in the second grade and reading on about a fifth-grade level.

We had one of those families that are so mocked nowadays, but so wonderful to grow up in. Dad worked all day (and a few evenings on a side job). Mom stayed at home and raised us with love, discipline, pride, and frustrations too I bet!

Anyway, when we went to the local IGA store for groceries, there was this padded bench, about the size of a modern-day minivan bench seat. The bench was covered in purple vinyl, its original shine worn dull by thousands of butts sliding across it.

The grocery store also had a metal-wire comics spinner rack.

Whether intentionally or not, when we went to the grocery store, a few comics seemed to be on that bench, having migrated from the spinner rack twenty feet away.

Now we tie it all together: Most of the times I went with Mom to the grocery store, I would park on that purple bench and read comics.

So family folklore goes, one time Mom loaded up the groceries into the car and went home. She was bringing in the paper bags of groceries when she realized that I wasn’t with her! She drove back to the grocery store (maybe a mile or so) and there I was, still blissfully reading comics on the bench.

I sure didn’t feel abandoned!

For our final Weirdo Wednesday, we’ll look at one of the comics that I read on that bench, and didn’t find again for more than twenty years!

Stay tuned, kiddies!

Super Movie Music History

If you love movie music, it's hard to beat Film Score Monthly. It's a magazine about ... you guessed it!

Their website is http://www.filmscoremonthly.com/ -- check out their clearance sale. That's where I bought this back issue for 95 cents. It's crammed with info and interviews about the music for the first Christopher Reeves Superman films.

Browse...buy...enjoy!

PS our last Weirdo Wednesday is coming, and it's MONSTROUS!

Remember the Monsters!

Here we have the ad from the rear cover of Superfman #165, featured on this week's Weirdo Wednesday.

Yes, in times past you could buy an Aurora monster model for 98 cents. In my childhood, there was a 2% sales tax (total). That means you could buy Frankenstein, or the Wolf Man, or the likes, for EXACTLY one dollar.

Cool, huh?

Now, that was at the local TG&Y store. The same place where you could buy balsa-wood glider planes for a nickel. Then you'd tape exploding pop-bottle rockets to the planes. Light the fuse, throw the plane, and watch the show as the thing swooped into the air and then exploded into fragments. Way neat!

Back to the models ... it was a momentous day when Aurora released King Kong and Godzilla (as separate kits) and raised their model price to $1.49.

*sigh* Those were the days!

In case you wondered, I've still got the Dracula, Wolf Man, and Frankenstein models in pretty good shape. Their good repair is because they were bought and assembled by my big brother, who's a great craftsman. Then he grew up and got married, and I inherited the models, just like his Erector set.

I gave back the Erector set.

Not a Hoax, Not a Dream, but REAL!

Yes, thanks to a suggestion from a correspondent (Hi, Allen!), this week’s Three-Part Thursday features a sad and gruesome tale from Superman #156, cover-dated October 1962, “The Last Days of Superman!”

This Great Three-Part Novel was written by Edmond Hamilton and features more stupendously affecting art by Curt Swan and George Klein. And, it’s …

Not an Imaginary Tale! Not a Super-Computer Prediction! Not Acted Out by Kandorian Doubles Who Look Like Our Characters!

As our story begins, a chest expelled from Krypton at its destruction swings into Earth orbit. Naturally, like the “Decoy of the Doom Statues” encountered by Superboy and Krypto long ago (for Superman) in Superboy #136, the chest and its contents have turned to Green Kryptonite.

As it lands on Earth, Superman and Jimmy Olsen approach it. Since Jimmy hasn’t yet been to Kandor with Superman, he’s had no chance to learn Kryptonese. So Superman rapidly translates. Oops, the chest contains Virus X, “a contagion fatal in 30 days to any native of Krypton!”

Superman quickly uses a boulder like a cue ball to drive the chest miles underground as Jimmy snaps a photo, but … was the wind blowing towards the Man of Steel? Suddenly he feels … faint! Were the Virus X germs blown onto Superman? What other reason could there be for this sudden weakness and fever? Oh, no!

The Man of Tomorrow quickly faces the deadly prognosis, confirmed by a doctor. He’s doomed! Quickly the Action Ace comes up with a list of super-feats to be accomplished before his strength completely fades away..

But it’s too late. As Jimmy overtakes him in a distant desert, where Superman plans to dig irrigation trenches, the hero collapses. He quickly summons his robots to build him a lead-glass isolation booth so he can let the world know of … his doom! With Jimmy inside (he might be a carrier of Virus X!), Superman shows Supergirl his list of dream projects, all designed to help mankind long after his passing.

The next two parts of the tale are made up of various achievements, wrought in Superman’s name by Krypto, Supergirl, the Legion of Super-Heroes, Lori Lemaris, the Superman Emergency Squad, Superman’s robots, and more! They do things like terraforming Earth by digging irrigation ditches in the desert, melting the polar ice to make room for future population growth (and you thought global warming was a new idea!), destroying future threats to humanity on Earth and in space, and – just a ton of stuff goes on in this story!

Superman directs the deeds, performed by “The Super-Comrades of all Time!”, while faithful friend Jimmy stays by his side for moral support.

Then, a dramatic … discovery! Supergirl journeys to Krypton’s past to verify that there is no cure for Virus X. But she also returns to Superman’s side with the knowledge that the disease germs mentioned on the outside of the Kryptonite chest were destroyed on Krypton! (They forgot to chisel off the inscription I guess.)

Then, with a nudge from Mon-El, in the Phantom Zone, to Saturn Girl, we learn the true cause of Superman’s descent into the abyss of death, and a cure is effected.

Read the story yourself to find out! To read the entire story online, visit Superman Through the Ages’ website. Here’s the link: http://supermanthrutheages.com/tales3/lastdays/

With the Man of Steel back to full power, the only thing left is to erase a certain pesky confession. You see, with his last burst of super-powers, the Man of Steel had used his heat vision to etch into the moon this inspiring message: “Do good to others and every man can be a Superman – Superman (Clark Kent).”

So Krypto and Supergirl help erase his Earth moniker from the cosmic billboard.

What makes this story so wonderful (besides its happy ending, natch!) is the depth of plotting and characterization. Superman, contemplating his doom, doesn’t go on a carouse … he contemplates how best to use his remaining days to help others. He looks back upon his life and is thankful. He appreciates the kind support from his super (and non-super) friends.

The deeds performed to fulfill Superman’s legacy range from the silly (melting the ice might lead to flooding of coastal areas much?) to the insightful (destroying a planet whose orbit will intersect Earth; dealing with a space cloud that someday will menace mankind).

And the art! There’s an old story that an editor (Weisinger?) had picked nagged Curt Swan for drawing emotion lines (wrinkles) on Superman’s face. “It makes him look old!” Swan’s rejoinder was that even babies have wrinkles when crying!

George Klein’s inks do a masterful job of bringing those few penciled lines to life, indicating pain, sorrow, relief, and joy.

How could you classify such fine storytelling as "a kid's book"?

Thanks for stopping by. Feel free to leave a comment!

TOMORROW: Some monstrous reminiscences!

Momentarily Lion-Headed

Hi guys! Today we look at a two-part tale featured in Superman 165, “Beauty and the Super-Beast!”

Don’t be misled by your memory. The tale wherein a descendant of the witch Circe gives Superman a lion’s head was in Action 243 from 1958, with Wayne Boring art. It might have influenced this story, cover-dated November 1963.

But this one was written by Robert Bernstein, and has more Swanderful art, as seen here and there in today’s post. It supposedly features the “real” Circe, reawakened by … well, read on!

There are all sorts of socio-sexual aspects that might be read into this tale. I am woman, I’ll make YOU roar, perhaps. After all, Lois is a test-astronaut here, and Lana appears in her usual job, a TV investigative reporter.

At least one DC-commentary website makes a big comment about how with this story, DC was lobbying strongly for women astronauts. You could also say that tales like these also “empowered” women by these roles for Lois or Lana. Me, reading this as a kid, just didn’t see the big deal. Or now, either.

Why shouldn’t women, or men, be astronauts or cooks or TV people? Why make it a big deal WHO does it? I guess I’m too stupid to be sexist, because I just don’t see that it’s a notable thing, because a person’s sex, or color, shouldn’t matter! Even today, I think that people make too big a deal of such stuff. OK, so what that ST: Voyager had a woman captain. Maybe it’s earth-shattering to you (like the female shuttle commander and female space-station commanders on duty at the same time “for the first time in history”). To me, it’s just something that should happen, and so when it does, it should be commonplace (like a black or female president – why, oh why, won’t Condi run?).

Anyway, the focus of this tale isn’t on nice powerful ladies, but on a naughty one. Lana Lang gets a scoop via an ancient papyrus on where to find the Sorceress Circe. She (Lana) leads an expedition to the Mediterranean island, and lawzee, there’s a glass coffin with a knockout babe inside!

Not only that, the gal wakes up and flames into “woman scorned” mode when she hears about Superman, raving that he turned her down her advances when journeying into the past, and now she won’t take “no” for an answer! Whereupon she zaps Superman into having a lion’s head (for a fraction of a second, only long enough to get a cover out of it) and then a mouse’s noggin, before restoring him to his normal chiseled visage.

Part II of the tale continues, with Circe making Superman dive to the center of the Earth, and then juggle upside down. Still, the Action Ace manages to turn these humiliating demands into Super-deeds.

Finally Circe repents of her cruel treatment of the hero and, using her magic, disappears into the past. Whereupon Superman flies to a secret rendezvous with the siren, who takes off her head, and … (big reveal) – she’s REALLY (the now grown-up) Saturn Woman, from the 30th Century!

This was all a convoluted plot to thwart a couple of members of the Superman Revenge Squad. You see, they flew in on their flying saucer, and zapped Big Blue with a power-sapping ray, thinking to render the Man of Steel powerless. But Superman discovered that he still had his powers when UPSIDE-DOWN. Because, you see, when he is topsy-turvy, his magnetic poles are reversed, you see, and therefore the ray’s effects wane.

So clearly he had to have an excuse to REMAIN upside-down, and it was only logical to come up against a witch whose powers could force him to be upside-down, when he would (again) be Super.

Of course, after 24 hours exactly, the ray’s effects would wear off.

Of course. Sure. Makes perfect sense. Like Spock’s cross-circuiting from “A” to “B” in “The Enemy Within.” Well, thank pitchforks and pointed ears!

What about those lion’s and mouse’s heads? Well, that was produced by Saturn Woman’s shape-changing pet, Proty II, sitting on Superman’s head. Proty II changed shape ON TOP OF Superman’s head, making it LOOK like he face-changed, got it?

But I thought Protys One AND Two were Chameleon Boy’s pets, not Saturn Girl/Woman’s!
I’m so confused.

Somebody explain this Weirdo Wednesday to me!

Mr. Spock's Time Trek!

Here's another View-Master tale, this one D.C. Fontana's animated story about Spock going back in time, helping his younger self, and marrying his mother (except for the part about marrying his mother).

Oops, the part about the mother was Heinlein's story "All You Zombies ..."

Oops, in that story he WAS his own mother, and ... well, now YOU read the Heinlein story and find out!

See you tomorrow for Weirdo Wednesday, although we can't top that!

Takin' a Trek Detour

I'm saving my strength (and time) for Weirdo Wednesday and Three-Part Thursday this week by just sharing a couple of View-Master treasures.

Take a trip to Omega and find out why Kirk shold help the Meroks fight the Cohms!

Also in Superman # 175 ...

In the lettercol of the comic featured in yesterday's Three-Part Thursday, there is the usual smattering of serious quesions and smart-aleck "gotchas" on both sides of the editorial line.

Also, see the letter on the right side of the page, near the top. Here we have the canonical pronunciation of Kltpzyxm -- that is, what it sounds like when a certain 5th-dimensional imp accidentally banishes himself from Earth for a few months.

The story of Ar-Val, also discussed by readers, MAY just be a topic for a future Three-Part Thursday, although our NEXT great three-part novel will be among those suggested by correspondent Allen, in a comment to the FIRST Three-Part Thursday.

Well, what do you think, readers? Can YOU take your cue from Wednesday's lettercolumn and todays, and say Mxyzptlk forwards AND backwards?

See you next week!

Three-Part Thursday Serves Up Another Classic!

One of the great wonders of the Silver Age of DC comics was the “imaginary” tale. Done right, these little “what ifs” could make you smile, laugh, muse and dream, or even experience heartfelt sorrow, joy, pride, or anger.

Such a wonderful story was featured in Superman 175, cover-dated February, 1965. Written by SF great Edmond Hamilton and accompanied by supremely appropriate Curt Swan art, this tale, while pretending to be a “what if?” children’s story, also featured a masterful handling of the more “grown-up” emotions of jealousy, the loyalties of friendship, and – the BIG one for me, the redemptive power of selfless love.

Wow, and all that in a kiddie comic book!

Thanks to Robby Reed for uncovering a variant version of our cover! (Check out his blog, Dial B for Blog, through the permanent link to the right edge of this entry). Of the two covers shown above, the scene on the left is the actual printed cover.

As our story opens, a pesky cold prevents Jonathan and Martha Kent from departing on the vacation that, in “real” continuity, would have led to their deaths (as told in Superman 161). Meanwhile, Superboy detects that Lex Luthor has nearly triangulated the Kent home through a system of surveillance cameras. And through a series of brief vignettes, we learn that the Pete Ross of THIS tale does NOT know Clark Kent’s secret, but IS becoming very jealous of Lana Lang’s starstruck adulation of the Boy of Steel. She won’t even consider dating Pete, as long as Superboy is around.

So when Clark Kent “runs away” and Superboy vows to find him no matter what, Pete avers, “If he never comes back, it’ll be fine with me!”

Of course, the absence of Clark and Superboy from Smallville is the only way Kal-El could come up with to keep Lex from tracking him to the Kent home. But how convenient that both are gone at the same time, Lex figures. So, he offers to work at the Kent store, soon coming up with a counterfeit detector ray and a mechanized inventory system. He ingratiates himself further into the Kent family, until they offer to adopt him. “It’s so easy to fool these kind-hearted people,” Lex thinks to himself, “I feel almost ashamed…but I must carry out my plan!”

Then come the four panels shown here. The Kents’ acceptance and love for him work their wonders, and … Lex Luthor repents! When a lonely Superboy swoops in through the window to visit, Lex sees him too, and swears to keep the secret in the family.

Part One ends with Lex and Clark Kent as fast friends, Lana Lang once again swooning over the Boy of Steel, and Pete Ross nursing resentment into hate: “I’ll hate him for life…and when I’m grown up, I’ll make him wish he’d never taken Lana away from me! Wait and see!”

As you can see by its splash page, Part II is titled “The Defeat of Superman!” Word.

As time passes, the four Kents move from Smallville to Metropolis. Clark gets a job at the Daily Planet and meets a sultry blackheaded gal named Lois Lane. Lex has been offered a post at the Metropolis Scientific Foundation.

At a housewarming party for the Kents, Jonathan Kent tries to match up Lois with Clark; two old friends from Smallville, Lana Lang and Pete Ross, also drop by. As Lex shows off his home lab, Pete attaches a tiny sensor to one of the apparati that is so dangerous, Lex says, that Superman will take it to his Fortress for safekeeping.

A few weeks later, the world is stunned by weird robberies by non-Earthly technology. Swooping in to investigate, Superman is felled by Green Kryptonite studded into one of them, and falls from the sky onto…Lois Lane!

Upon his recovery, Superman finds his Fortress has been looted of various inventions now used in those eerie crimes, including some of brother Lex’s devices. When the Action Ace finds to his relief that Lois will recover from her injuries, he proposes. He’s overheard by Lana, who’d come to visit Lois in the hospital.

Realizing that Superman will never be hers, Lana consents to Pete Ross’s proposal, only to soon discover evidence that Pete is “a big-shot crook, not a business man! And by fixing a tiny radio-impulse transmitter to the invention that Lex Kent was giving to Superman, I discovered the location of his Fortress!”

Part II ends with Lana Lang Ross’s realization that “I still love Superman…and I’ve married his most terrible enemy!”

Man, look at the splash page for part III, “The Luthor-Superman.” That is just creepy! Superman is dead, apparently. And some bald guy – Lex Luthor, in a Superman outfit! -- is about to make a home run on somebody’s noggin with a big ol’ steel girder. I think it’s too late to duck, eh?

Well, let’s wrap this up. Pete Ross kidnaps Lois Kent (any one of Superman’s friends would have done as well) to lure Superman to an underground hideout, where he doses him with huge amounts of Green K. Meanwhile, Lana Ross manages to break out her locked apartment and dash to the Kents’ home, revealing that she too knows Clark’s secret. In a desperate gamble, Lex uses an imperfect invention to give himself temporary superpowers. He tracks Pete, and breaks into the cavern. Talk about just desserts! Pete sure gets his, as shown below.

“The Luthor-Superman” flies out to safety with Lois and Superman, detecting a faint heartbeat as his brother begins to recover from Kryptonite poisoning. The Man of Tomorrow awakens just in time to thank his brother for his life, as Lex body begins to dissolve. After all, the frail body of an Earthman can not long contain the power of a Superman.

Our great Three-Part Imaginary Novel ends with Clark (Superman) Kent in a memorial garden, ruminating before his brother's monument. “Fate is strange! When we were boys, I feared Lex might grow up into a lawless criminal…but instead, he grew up to be the finest person of us all!”

Wow. Pete, in his selfish resentment, came to hate Superboy/Superman. Lana, in her youthful hero-worship, was blind to Pete’s overtures, thus fanning his jealousy. Lex, by worming his way into the Kent family, laid himself wide open to the power of acceptance and unconditional love. By being themselves, Jonathan and Martha Kent saved the world from an evil genius’s influence through simply giving love and family membership to a lonely, obsessed misfit named Lex.

And, redeemed by love and surrounded by pride and acceptance, Lex made a choice to lay down his own life to save his brother’s.

Sure, it’s “just a comics story,” but it also rings true in these echos of real-life sentiments, conflicts, sorrows, and triumphs. Real folks too have the feelings shown by the characters in this tale. I don’t know about you, but I’ve responded ignobly to another’s greater talents; I too have felt the wonders of love dawning into the black sorrows of my dirty heart; I also have experienced the humility of knowing that another, better person has died to save me.

Kinda makes you think, huh?

Tomorrow … how to pronounce Mxyzptlk’s name backwards!

Weirdo Wednesday Presents...The Helmet of Hate!

Great Curt Swan art highlights this week’s Weirdo Wednesday offering. “The Helmet of Hate” features a diabolical conspiracy between Jimmy and Superman to convince a couple of members of Brainiac’s “gang” that the Man of Steel has turned to the Dark Side.

These guys ARE green, but don’t boast their boss’s Christmas-lights-on-the-noggin.

THAT honor is reserved for our cover boy, Superman’s Pal, Jimmy Olsen. This is issue 68, cover-dated April, 1963.

Yes, Jimmy puts on the Helmet of Hate and takes up the Red Kryptonite pistol for a Planet photoshoot. They were SUPPOSED to be props, but look what’s happened now!

Superman is now evil, boasting red skin and devil horns!

Shades of Mephistopheles, as Superman bribes Perry White to endorse racketeer Tom Remson for Mayor, and then offers to make Remson and gang “kingpins of crime,” in exchange for a little thing called their souls.

All this convinces Brainiac’s buddies that the Man of Steel’s halo is sufficiently rusty. They drop their flying saucer’s force-field and offer Superman the chance to shrink Metropolis like Kandor was. After all, Superman promises “I promise not to battle you!”

Then, in one of the great absurdist panels of comics, Superman’s horns burst open to reveal members of Kandor’s Superman Emergency Squad. THEY didn’t make no stinkin’ promise, and they proceed to take the spaceship apart, carting the two baddies back to Kandor and allowing Superman and Jimmy to drop their ruse.

It was all “Plan J” – all prearranged.

And now this bonus, where in readers may find out the correct way to pronounce “Mxyzptlk” – read the letter at the top of the right-hand column.

STAY TUNED for…Three-Part Thursday, wherein you will also coincidentally learn how to pronounce Mixy’s name BACKWARDS!

I Think I'd Like to Live There!

As I inventory the books in the Fortress of Markitude (up to 500 and have just finished one wall's worth), I come across some treasures I have forgotten about.

One such is the American Space Digest, a nifty pamphlet distributed as a freebie by the Schick Razor Company in 1963. It's full of bios of space personalities, articles like "Television by Telstar -- It's Here!", and the great "vision of the future" shown below -- a town not unlike a certain comic-book city we all know and love.

Yes, "Cities Will See Big Changes," all right! This vision of America's Future, as visualized in 1963, shows a little bit of the cultural milieau of the times, and an optimism about the days that lie ahead, that I sorely miss. That's why Curt Swan drew Kandor the way he did, I think.

We all recognize the futuristic skyline shown here. It's what the future was supposed to look like! And it might have, if not for the 1963 coup, which ushered in four decades (so far) of power wielded by aome of the most untrustworthy of the powerful. And the resulting (justified) mistrust of the few, accompanied by the (less justified) mistrust of ALL authority.

(end of editorial comment)

Stay tuned (barring another Internet Interruption like yesterday's) for another instalment of Weirdo Wednesday tomorrow, and after that *gasp!* a second Three-Part Thursday!