Good Characters and Naughty

Cards 8 and 9 of the Superman Vitamins are shown below.

And Howdy-Do to Allen, who was nice enough to mention that he hadn't seen these cards!

We'll also get to some DC Super-type cards that were a premium from (I think) Wonder bread, as well as some scary-type ones too.

Note that Linda Danvers is a TV actress! In an afternoon soap opera, if I remember those Superman Family stories correctly...

Clark Gets His Own Card!

Here are the next two cards (numberwise that is).

Clark uses glasses "and other means" to disguise himself. Remember how he used his glasses to unconsciously super-hypnotize people? I think it was published AFTER these cards were printed in 1982.

I don't know in what way Dianna is "descended" from the Amazons, but if she knows all the fighting techniques of ancient Greeks, when is she gonna hurl Greek Fire at somebody, huh?

More Delicious Vitamin Cards

Here are a few more of the Premium Cards from Superman Vitamins.

Note that Batman was merely "upset" by the death of his parents. Hmmm...

Now, I don't know when Jason Todd's parents were killed by Killer Croc, but we know that it WAS before the 1986 Crisis, as evidenced by the 1982 copyright tags.

Also I note that Robin is no longer a "Boy" Wonder, but a "Teen Wonder."

Premium Cards Galore!

In the middle 1980s, the Alfred kids got PLENTY of Superman Vitamins. Not just because of the subject matter and the cool S-shield shapes, but ALSO because of the "DC Comics Super Heroes Collectable Cards" included.

Here we have the first two, appropriately enough Superman and Lois Lane.

And remember, this was BEFORE the Crisis refit.

More next time!

More Modeling Memories

Here we have instructions for a very expensive model kit. As you can see, it includes tiny "wheat" light bulbs and a place for batteries, and everything.

Oh. Wait a minute. It's not an expensive NEW model, it's a moderately priced ($2.00) OLD one!

Yes, from the era that brought you a Luxury Car for $5000, it's a Star Trek model of the USS Enterprise!

You had to be careful not to use too much model glue where the struts attached to the primary hull. Too much glue would make the plastic so soft the nacelles would sag.

I think I went through three or more copies of this kit.

Read Label! We're All One! O.K.!

One of the more amusing and interesting product labels is born by Dr Bronner's Soap. Turn your head every which way and read the advice, rantings, and directions on this puppy.

PS my mom says it's good soap too! O.K.!

The Adventure of Space

Those "of a certain age" remember 2001: A Space Odyssey, and the Space Race, and the yearning to be "out there."

So we watched Star Trek and Commando Cody and Lost in Space and Twilight Zone. Sure, we played cowboys & Indians, but we also played spaceman.

Now, I was never lucky enough to buy one of those $1 Lunar Capsules hawked in the comic books, but I too tossed Frisbees and marveled at Super-Balls. I remember the taste of Space Food Sticks and marveled over the intensity of Tang.

And when I got a little older, I thought it only right that the USA name its first space shuttle after Captain Kirk's ship.

Around 1981 or so, when the Enterprise landed at Tinker AFB (piggy-backed on a plane), my sweet wife Joyce and I drove and waited, drove and waited, over the space of three hours or so to see the shuttle IN PERSON.

I also got an iron-on about it, which as you can see has sadly lost some of its lettering.

Don't YOU also desire to know the night sky's sparkling secrets, and taste stars freeze and burn?

2001 Is Over!

As a wrap-up to a couple of weeks’ worth of 2001 items, here’s the front and rear covers for a self-assembled compilation CD of various versions of “Also Sprach Zarathustra.”

Most are either imitations or variations of Deodato’s pop-hit arrangement, or attempts to be all classical-sounding.

A couple are included because of sound effects or synth overlays.

When I purchased Rhino’s great 2001 soundtrack CD a few years ago, I was amazed to realize that the version of “Daybreak” (the familiar name of the theme) in the film was DIFFERENT from the recording and orchestra featured on the original “soundtrack” album and repeated on the “Inspired By” LP. So, I opened my compilation with the “real” version from the film, and closed it with the version from the soundtrack album, the one that I’ve hardwired into my consciousness Lo! These past 29 years or so.

SPECIAL DELIVERY! For the first three people to email me, I’ll mail you a copy of this CD FREE. Just send me your mailing address in your email.

(You know, it took me MONTHS to give away the free copies of the SUPERMUSIC CD. Here’s hoping you guys have sped up since then.)

See you next week with a brand-new show!

The End of the Spread

Here are the last four pages of LIFE magazine's gorgeous spread on 2001: A Space Odyssey.

More from LIFE in 1968

Take a look at more of this spiffy layout.

Lavish Photo Layout from LIFE

Here are the first four pages of a big ol' spread about 2001 from 1968.

What LIFE Had to Say About 2001

Here we have our fearless movie reviewer explaining how wise Kubrick was to cut 20 minutes out of the film after its first couple of weeks' release.

Since the film was originally panned but now is becoming popular, the guy says that Kubrick's cuts must have been the magic touch.

Or, (this is just Mark's idea here). Maybe the popularity of the film was more about word-of-mouth and repeat attendances! Of course, a shorter film probably helped by making more showings per day possible too!

Boy, is it just me, or do all of these LIFE and Newsweek and Time articles just REEK of self-consciousness and pretense? You can just imagine these guys sitting down every morning at their typewriters so that they can educate the Great Unwashed out there in Cornland or Horseland.

Me? Thank God I know what a horse looks (and smells) like.

Anyway, ruminate over this semi-review of dat ol' wonder-inducing film, 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Coming this week -- LIFE magazine's ten-page color spread on the film!

Before He Was a Sir

Here's a Time magazine profile of Mr. Clarke and his (very optimistic) outlook on man's technological prospects.

No doubt this was a little cross-promotion with MGM and the 2001: A Space Odyssey publicity machine.

See you next week!

2001: What Newsweek Had to Say

From its April 15, 1968 issue, here's what Newsweek had to say about 2001.

Since it's my theory that 2001: A Space Odyssey is both less complicated and MORE complicated than most of us think, who can blame the folks of 1968 for scratching their heads.

I mean, it's not as if this were a WWII movie or a Burt Lancaster western!

Inside the 2001 Soundtrack LP

Medical bulletin: If all goes well, we should be able to bring Joyce home tonight. I'm waiting until the doctor makes his evening rounds and, we hope, OKs her to come home.

So, feel free to also look at the inside of the LP package. As you can see, MGM records was pushing "the wonder of it all."

Enjoy your own wonders, and we'll chat again soon. Thanks for your prayers!

Wore That Sucker Out!

Since my wife was rushed to the hospital this afternoon, I'm only going to take a second to say, the title for today's post applies to the 2001 soundtrack album (see the scans) and NOT to sweet Joyce's heart!

The docs say that with a little blood thinning she should be fine. The pains she felt were NOT a heart attack at all.

Pray for us as you also wonder HOW MANY TIMES I must have played this record, judging by the worn-out center hole!

Sit Down, Take a Stress Pill, and Think Things Over

SPOILER ALERT:

Over the next week or so I'll be presenting all manner of important and trivial things concerning the entity (some book, mostly movie) 2001: A Space Odyssey.

So let me warn you right now: Rosebud was the Space Pod.

When I received my first stereo phono as a Christmas present from my wonderful Mom and Dad, the first thing I did that Christmas Morning of 1968 was slap on the soundtrack to 2001, and blare Strauss's homage to the no-god ubermensch across the chill of Jesus' birthday.

With my Christmas money, I went to Montgomery Ward soon after and purchased the record Music Inspired by 2001. As a kid I didn't understand the concept of cynical marketing ploys. It had a picture of the Starchild on the cover, and opened with "Also Sprach Zarathustra," so I was set.

I've never asked my Mom what she thought of those odd shrieks of Gyorgi Ligeti's Requiem or Volumina coming from my speakers.

I can tell you that music from the first 2001 album and this one became background sounds at several youth-group haunted houses (along with the "Free-Form Guitar" screeches on Chicago Transport Authority).

Anyway, inspired by the recent (FINALLY!) DVD "deluxe" 2001, I dug out the old "inspired by" album and played it, dubbing it onto cassette. Then I walked the tape across the study to the cassette deck sitting above the computer and "ripped" the music into mp3s.

And then the gruelling editing work began. I've discovered that most skips and pops can be covered over in an LP recording by pulling a Byrne "pocket universe" trick: I copy a fragment of sound from a fraction of a second AFTER the pop, and paste it on top of the offending occurrence. Most of the time, it works!

So, anyway, I now have a semblance of the album on CD. Above is a scan of Mike Curb's liner notes on the back. Here is a scan of my CD rear and front inserts. The two pictures are scanned from the back of the record jacket. The track listings are also direct scans from the record jacket, with the columns separated enough for track numbers to be inserted.

Notice the last paragraph of Curb's "insightful" liner notes. It amazes me that linguistic stupes have been MISUSING the word "hopefully" for almost 40 years!

Three-Part Thursday – An Imaginary Classic Tale

From the November 1961 issue of Superman, number 149, a tale ripped from yesterday’s headlines, comes now “The Death of Superman!”

Yep, the Great Carlini was about 35 years late on this idea, kiddies. Of course, the 1995 storyline also wasn’t written by Jerry Siegel and penciled by Curt Swan, like our featured story today. No wonder it took them a year and a half to fall short of this ONE ISSUE.

Our Imaginary Tale, which may not happen, but again, MAY), begins when Lex Luthor discovers a fascinating mineral in the penitentiary rock pile. He calls it “Element Z,” and soon wangles a trip to the prison infirmary and whips up a cure for cancer.

When Superman, thrilled by Luthor’s altruism, speaks up for the scientist at a parole hearing, the entire world is turned on its ear when the Man of Steel sponsors Mrs. Luthor’s boy with a spanking new lab and a pat on the back.

Of course, the underworld decides that the friend of their enemy is now THEIR enemy, and a couple of lugs head out to bump off Superman’s newest pal. End, Part I!

As Part II begins, Superman arrives just in time to save Luthor’s bacon, and in the next days, many more super-rescues ensue after Lex triggers his new Signal Watch in several narrow escapes. After conferring with Supergirl (his unannounced Secret Weapon, you’ll recall), Supes finally builds a shielded orbiting space platform for Luthor’s research.

So Superman doesn’t suspect a thing when Luthor sets off an emergency signal. The Man of Tomorrow waltzes right into a Green Kryptonite trap set by a certain non-reformed criminal mastermind. Yes, gloats Mr. Sadism Incarnate, “I discovered that cancer-cure, in order to be released from jail! I pretended to have reformed, so I could lull you into a false sense of security! The purpose? To catch you off-guard and lure you into this death-trap!”

Then … in front of his best friends from the Daily Planet, kidnaped to serve as witnesses … Superman dies. Luthor dumps the Planet staffers and the body on Earth and ascends into orbit above Earth, gloating, “Soon, I’ll be King of the Earth!” End, Part II!

Part III, called “The Death of Superman,” covers the universe’s mourning of Superman, and his legacy. The Curt Swan art is great throughout the tale, but especially in these final Imaginary pages, the varied expressions of shock and sadness on familiar and new faces, coupled with (temporarily) non-florid expressions of grief penned by Superman’s co-creator Siegel, lend a real and emotionally moving pathos to the narrative.

The whole world, and extraterrestrial races from worlds yet unknown, come to pay tribute to the late Man of Steel as he lies in state in Metropolis Chapel.

Meanwhile, Luthor has descended Earthside to gloat and preen before adoring mobsters and other such lowlifes. When one of the mugs asks, “Tell us EVERYTHING!” Luthor crows, “He wriggled and twisted like a worm on a hook! He sweated and turned green! The last thing he ever saw was my grinning face!”

Then, as all of Metropolis’s gangland toasts him, the glee is interrupted as … Superman bursts through the wall! “To the astonishment of the cringing gangsters, the super-powerful form flexes mighty muscles, then …” Supergirl appears to the world for the first time!

In the name of Krypton, she arrests the criminal genius for murder, and swiftly drags him to appear before the only extant Kryptonian court of justices, in … Kandor!

The last pages of this mighty tale alternate between damning testimony (as if it were necessary) to Luthor’s deviltry, alternating between panels where we readers can tell the smug scientist is sure that he’s got something up his sleeve that will save his butt, no matter the verdict.

Sure enough, Luthor is found guilty, and he offers to enlarge Kandor in exchange for his freedom. Imagine his shock when he finds that justice, however delayed, cannot be purchased! The judge says, “We Kandorians don’t make deals with murderers! – Executioner, send this wretch into the Phantom Zone, immediately! He is the greatest criminal since Adolf Eichmann!”

Back on Earth, Krypton joins Supergirl on Earth patrol, and they fly by Superman’s tomb, drawing inspiration from the great heart of Krypton’s last son.

Wow, what a story! If they couldn’t have gotten Alan Moore to write the last adventure of Superman in 1986, they could have reprinted this thundering tale. If you’re not moved by this story, then I will have to award you a No-Heart Prize!

See you next time. Do good, and you too can be a Superman.

A Super-Review of a Semi-Super Book

Today, here’s a look/review of a new book (DC-authorized of course) by Kevin J. Anderson, entitled The Last Days of Krypton.

In it Anderson looks at about the last couple of years of Krypton. He covers Brainiac and Kandor, Zod, Zor-El and Argo City, and more.

But how uninspired it all is! Anderson must have done five tons of timelines and planning, but somehow it all seems somehow even MORE depressing than the subject – a planet blows up and nearly everyone dies – requires.

Another thing that shows a distinct lack of creative impulse (and sloppy editing) is the constant use of EARTH TERMS, as spoken by people ON ANOTHER PLANET. It’s kind of irritating to read about “drawing the line” and pursuing your enemies to “take them out.”

On page 175 we hear about someone who “had a vested interest in the status quo.” Latin phrases on Krypton?

But the pièce de résistance of moronic writing/editing comes on page 230, when Zod – a guy living on Krypton – says to Jor-El – another guy living on Krypton – “I need to present my city as a new capital, a fait accompli – and soon.”

Wow! A study of English-French phrases must be an elective course at good ol’ Krypton University!

The point of all this is how jarring such out-of-place idioms are. Am I the only person to be distracted by such inelegance? Editors and copy-editors are paid to catch sore-thumb, dumb, out-of-place things like this!

Oh, I forgot to mention the part where Zod digs up Jax-Ur’s “Nova Javelins” and reads “Kilroy was here” on the casings. (Just kidding about that one.)

I also take issue with Anderson’s inability to decide which Krypton he’s telling us about. I mean, almost all of the stuff he mentions has its origins in the comics, of course, but he takes a lot of effort to include situations and characters that *could be* characters from the Chris Reeve movies.

Zod = Zod. Aethyr = Ursa. Nam-Ek = Non. That part’s easy. So, we’re following the movies, eh?

Then you have Zor-El being the underground researcher, while Jor-El has his head in the clouds. We’ve got somebody named Jax-Ur who blew up a Kryptonian moon. But it was centuries ago, and the name of the moon isn’t Wegthor (I forget the “new” name).

And the only people in the Phantom Zone are a bunch of political enemies of Zod.

And … and …

I think they call stories like these “Imaginary.”

Because by golly such a mish-mash of indecisive logorrhea certainly shouldn’t be “official.”

Where’s Elliott S! Maggin when you need him? He would’ve done us proud!

Another Neat Thing I Have Never Used

At a bookstore somewhere I found these Superman note cards with envelopes.

I guess it'll be no surprise that I've never used them!

They're just sitting around increasing in value (yeah, right!).