Trouble a Foot

In July 2019, I was making outside rounds at the ODOT building and noticed these sock lying against the curb.

TWO MONTHS LATER, in September, the socks were still there.  So I took them home.  I shook the loose grass clippings and dirt out, and washed 'em.

What do you think?

PS they lasted a couple of months of once-a-week wearings before going threadbare.  Goodbye to these free-range argyle socks, and goodbye to this year's APRIL FOOLISHNESS!

See you Monday, May 2nd, for the commencement of this year's MUSICAL MONTH OF MAY!

More Typos I Have Known

            On page 308 of Gavriel D Rosenfeld’s 2005 The World Hitler Never Made:  Alternate History and the Memory of Nazism, we have an interesting word division.

Don’t you agree that the correct division of “rightwing” should be “right” + “wing”? 

Not “rightw” + “ing.”

Macmillan’s 2013 New Critical Essays on HP Lovecraft is full of distressing mistakes.  In all but one mention, Poe’s middle name is misspelled as “Allen"—including the index! 

In fact, the very last word of the book is wrong.  The name of HPL’s mad musician Erich Zann is misspelled “Eric.”

            It’s furthermore pretty depressing to see the pathetic word division found on page 180.  I don’t think “cowritten” is supposed to be hyphenated at the “cow”!

While anybody who's read our books from Jacobs/Brown knows that errors are inevitable, we avoid most of these types of errors by the simple cheat of NOT HYPHENATING.  Sneaky, huh?

See you Thursday for the last entry in this year's APRIL FOLLISHNESS.  You'll agree that something's a foot!

  

Butts and Buildings

Or, "Torsos and Traffic," maybe?  "Skin and Subways"?  Do they go together?  You tell me!

Above is Yes’s otherwise very good album Going for the One, from 1977.

Here is the 1978 album Cords by Synergy (Larry Fast).  Central Oklahomans might recognize one of its tracks as the title music for KOKH-25’s Million Dollar Movie in the late 1970s-to-early 1980s.

Here’s the album cover for Aerial’s album Maneuvers.  At least this butt is covered (sort of) by a skimpy swimsuit!

See ya Monday.  Keep your clothes on until then!

  

Spell It or Eat It

Sometimes typos appear in comic strips.

Above is the Garfield of February 13, 2019, as it appeared in the Oklahoman.  Since I never before ate a "hamburer," I decided to check online.

Do you suppose somebody at the local paper re-lettered the comic incorrectly?  Alternately, was the misspelled version the "original," distributed version?  How could that be so -- I mean, don't bigshot cartoonists have proofreaders?

'Tis a mystery.  See you Thursday!

  

Stalked by Office Products!

Yes, in the same way that creepy characters in nightmares suddenly reappear next to you, I've figuratively turned around to detect flexible office supplies suddenly close at hand.

On February 21, 2019, I was walking back to my car at the Post Office when I noticed ...

... a perfectly good eraser ...

... sitting just outside my driver-side door.

And only a few days later, as I approached my car at home ... ANOTHER ONE!

What else could I do?  I bought another car!  I went from a 2006 gold HHR to an Aegean Blue Civic.  But was I safe?

EVIDENTLY NOT!  When returning to the same post office six months later, the erasers had morphed into rubber bands ... and I surrendered to the gods of office supplies.

Since then I haven't chewed a pencil tip or folded, spindled, or mutilated any paper forms.  I seem to be safe, for now!

See ya Monday, unless I get swallowed by a big pot of glue!

  

I Hate Word Mix-Ups!

The above gem is from the March 5, 1991 Oklahoman.  I think it's pretty self evident that limiting  ANY kind of intake would prevent putting on pounds.

However ...

Most of the word mix-ups I encounter in my voluminous reading are words which are homonyms but not synonyms.  They sound alike, but don’t mean alike.

             When someone is trying to say that a plan is coming together, or an idea is taking shape, then things are not beginning to “gel.”  Gel is a noun, referring to something like jelly.  If things are aligning, then they are beginning to jell.  http://grammarist.com/homophones/gel-vs-jell/

             When you’re studying documents, you are not “pouring” over them.  You are poring.  To pore is to examine intently.  To pour is to decant.  https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/usage/pour-or-pore

            Of course, our skin has pores, but it’s another word that’s spelt the same, “Late Middle English: from Old French, via Latin from Greek poros ‘passage, pore’.”

             If two things go together or correspond, they do not “jive.”  They “jibe.”  Jibe means “to agree with.”  Jive is a word which can apply to music (or jive dancing) or it can mean “fake, inauthentic,” as in our college slang of calling somebody a “jive turkey.”  https://www.thoughtco.com/gibe-jibe-and-jive-1689398

             For me, the original of all word mix-ups was innocence itself.  By the second grade I was reading fifth-grade and higher material.  This led to a lot of words entering my vocabulary through reading only.  I’d never heard those terms spoken aloud.  And I figured out their meanings from their context.

            So, when I read that somebody was misled, I came up with a verb, “misle.”  This word was pronounced like the name of the Saudi King Faisal.  In my mind, this word meant confused or unsure about something.  If you said somebody was misled, then they misunderstood something.  They were MY-zuld.

            I also knew the word “misled,” as in being led astray.  That word was pronounced miss-LEDD.  An entirely different word!

             I was somewhere in my twenties when I reconciled the two words in my mind. Ahh, memories of precocious youth!

      I'll leave you with more unintentional silliness, this time from the June 8, 1983 Buyer's Guide distributed hereabouts in the OKC area.

Note the CANDY BARS blurb.  Don't you want a "huge ass" from candy bars?

See ya Thursday.

  

Can't You See Him Too?

Everybody loves Adventure Time, right?

I wasn't thinking about it when I went to the bathroom in August 2020, but sometimes these things just jump out at me.

Above is your typical view, when seated to think a spell.

And above is a close-up of the area that caught my eye.  Why, it was Jake the dog from Adventure Time!

Yeah, this guy!  Can't you see him?

In this photo I have supered Jake's face and circled his location.

This is the SAME photo, still circled.  Now you can see Jake, can't you?  I mean, he's obvious!  Right?

Right?

Anyway ... see you Monday for some word mix-ups.

  

A History of Kltypzyxm!

Wow ... I must be a child of the Silver Age, because I was able to type Mr Mxyzptlk's name backwards correctly without help, for the title of this blog post!

It's a (bad) reflection of my native irreverence that, whenever a newscaster here in Okie City talks about the Supreme Court's McGirt ruling, I want to emulate Mxy's first appearance and yell all over the place, "Hey, McGurt!"  (look it up)

This fine survey of the Master of Mirth is from Amazing Heroes #204, cover-dated July 1992.

See ya Thursday for more silliness, fellow schmucks and schmuckettes!

  

Welcome to All Consumers of Posts!

Welcome to this year's APRIL FOOLISHNESS! ... with all sorts of nonsense and silly things which have tickled my obsessive fancy over yea these many years of consumerism.  On this special Friday edition:

Here's a little gem I came across in an unnamed hotel to which we repaired in the May of 2020.  My thoughts couldn't help wandering (and wondering) about the idea of "new" toilet paper which had been made from one-third USED toilet paper.  Isn't that what "post-consumer" means, in regard to bathroom tissue?

Let it be known that I remain a good consumer, and POST consumer, of this product.

Having read thus far, you too are a CONSUMER of this POST.  Wow, ain't I sneaky?  See you Monday!

  

Mazeppa Can Write!

Of course, "Mazeppa Can Write!" may not be news to you, considering that Gailard Sartain was co-creator of the whole she-bang.  But, in further testament, I submit:

An actual photographic reproduction of the autographic memento received in the postal delivery from good ol' Muh-ZAY-puh hisself!

Ain't that the wizard's gizzards!

With this artifact of greatness, this year's MARCH MAZEPPA MADNESS fades slowly into the everlasting hills, to be resuscitated next year, same Bat-time, same Super-Blog-Channel!

But don't forget to swing back tomorrow -- Friday, April First -- for the commencement of this year's APRIL FOOLISHNESS.  It's a date!

  

It's Certainly Better than Crying!

"Who's laughing now?" was the musical question asked in the Tulsa World for December 20, 2009:

Remember, you too can buy your own DVDs of The Lost Tapes at MAZEPPA.COM!

See you Thursday for the wrap-up of this year's MARCH MAZEPPA MADNESS!  And you won't even have to stay up after the late movie!

  

Have YOU Tested?

In our tutorial today we cover another of the wall signs visible in the Truck Stop sketches on the Uncanny Film Festival and Camp Meeting, to wit:

Only those of a certain age might get the joke.

In the early 1970s, Maxwell House Coffee was plugging its instant version.  Their slogan ...

"We tested against fresh perk -- and we won!"

Now do you get it?

Above is my re-creation, to print out and hang above your own coffee station.

See you Monday!

  

There's Room in the Saddle for You!

Yes, although Mazeppa rides again!

You too can saddle up!  This article is from the January 21, 2001 Tulsa World.  Not only can you buy Volumes 1-3 at Mazzeppa.com, you can buy ALL FOUR DVDs and get free shipping and a special package price!

Do it NOW!  NOW!! NOW!!!

See you Thursday!

 

Slightly Green, Anyway!

Good ol' Muh-ZAY-puh may not be Irish, but I got some. So here's a memory that's at least PARTIALLY green ...

As revealed in 2019, I got myself one of them there Underground Cards rapidly.

It rests on display in a place of honor in the Fortress of Markitude.  Come on over and see it sometime!  Until then, check back on Monday for more MARCH MAZEPPA MADNESS!!!!
  

I Like to Pronounce It "Sebum-Up"

LAWZEE!

It's from the July 20, 1970 Tulsa World.  And by the way, those are glass bottles.  You can bet that ol' Muh-ZAY-puh was very careful when getting this pose set up.

And if you didn't know by now, "Delmo Gillette" of the platinum voice was none other than Gary Chew.

See you Thursday!

  

Don't Be Shy Unless You Can Be a King!

It's a little clip of heaven.

One of the many skits was Shy King, a take-off (GET IT?) on the old syndicated show Sky King.

One precocious soul has uploaded ONE of these skits, viewable above.  However, the one which sticks most in my memory relies on a silly little bit of prep.

The model plane used in the skits was sitting "on the runway" at rest.  It was drenched in lighter fluid.  Off-camera, "Shy" said, "Fire up the Songbird, Penny!" -- so someone dropped a lit match, and the plane burned up.

Remember, you can buy one or all volumes of The Lost Tapes of Mazeppa by visiting the shop.  The screengrab seen above is from the Shy King skit seen in Tape 4, which MAY or MAY NOT be the one in the video above, or the "on fire" installment I remember.

Now, that's funny! -- at least when you're 13.  See you Monday.

  

A Halloween Special for YOU!

First off ...

This article is from the October 22, 1982 Tulsa World.

Second off:

Some wondrous person recorded the aforementioned special off the air and shared it.  Here is their Betamax dub in its gory glory:

PROOF POSITIVE that you and I aren't the only fanatical Mazeppites out there!  See you Thursday.  Until then, make sure you drink Sebbum-Up COOL!