Metropolis Mailbag and Fudge -- mmmm!

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Here is the "Metropolis Mailbag" for Superman 171, which you'll recall is cover-dated August, 1964.

Here readers asked questions, pointed out errors, and otherwise interacted not only with the world of Superman, but the world of ADULTS.

Taking the letters in order ...

The first refers to Sally Selwyn, a beautiful heiress who had appears in Superman 165 and 169. Chalk up the editorial reply to "empty promise," because Sally didn't appear again. Of course, maybe a story was in the pipes but didn't make it into print.

Next we have the exposure of a prank letter, where a reader asks about somebody's previous request to have plastic surgery to copy Superboy's face. The reply admits as much and says, in effect, at least we got a story element from the affair.

The third letter proves editor Mort Weisinger's theory that the comic-book audience would rotate every few years. The writer -- probably about ten years old -- has never heard of the Superman radio show. So the editorial reply confirms that To Tell the Truth's TV host Bud Collier DID play the Man of Steel on the radio.

Next we have a smart-aleck who tries to tie up DC in a wrangling over tetanus/lockjaw, regarding Mr Mxyzptlk's recent appearance when he couldn't talk. In turnabout fashion, the smart-aleck editors reply that Mxy's docter in Zrfff made the mis-diagnosis, not DC.

The last letter also tries to catch the staff in a wrong-side-of-the-road snafu, which is easily slipped out of.

In between is a letter asking DC to reprint its stories featuring JFK. Besides the cover story, "Who Is the Mystery Masquerader?" which appeared in Action 309, there were several others, such as "Superman's Mission for President Kennedy!" which appeared in Superman 170, the issue immediately preceding this one. Also, JFK welcomed Supergirl to the White House in Action 252. (There are surely others.) The editors wisely reply that "it's too soon after Mr Kennedy's tragic death to reprint them."

Now, notice two things about this reply. First, the editors call him "Mr" not "President" Kennedy. I wonder if this were intentional. Secondly, the publishers of today would have rushed out a reprint "Special Memorial Edition" of those stories before the last assassin left Dallas city limits!

The bottom third of the page has an ad for the now-defunct "Tootsie Roll Fudge." Nowadays you can't buy the stuff. It was crowded from the marketplace by Tootsie Rolls and Tootsie Roll Pops.

Superman Looks Like My Dad

In the first panel of this, the last page of "The Nightmare Ordeal of Superman" from Superman 171, a bearded, unkempt Superman peers out of his darkened cave at the reader, and also at his rescuers -- Jimmy Olsen, Lois Lane, and Dr Luring.

When I came to see my Dad in the emergency room (after the VA nearly killed him) at Jane Phillips in Bartlesville, he looked similar to this. It's sad and scary when somebody you have known for your whole life as always neat and clean -- suddenly they're scruffy and unshaven and their hair is all messed up.

Unlike my wonderful Dad, Superman will recover from being laid low like this. He has recovered from his delerium and figures that it's a cinch that Lois and Jimmy will recognize his unpowered self as plain Clark Kent.

Obviously, there's no reflective surface in that cave! Because as we can tell from that selfsame first panel, our hero does NOT look like good ol' "CK."

It is kind of funny that supposedly "his hair and beard have grown tremendously!" but that same short Super-haircut has stayed, despite enough passage of time to allow a super-scruff.

Next, how to retrieve that costume from Krypton? Well, brash Jimmy Olsen volunteers to do that -- and is stuck for a way to do it, until inspiration arrives with a glance at that red sun.

Whether or not you believe it would work on these savages, Jimmy's method is a slick piece of psychology. Red hair = red sun!

Of course, Jimmy takes the opportunity to let Superman think that he beat up the troglodyte to get the costume back!

(Parenthetically, I get Supes was glad to get his old threads back on!)

In our last panel, we're on our way back to Earth. Superman's powers are restored as they exit the red sun's influence, and more adventures lie ahead.

Next -- Metropolis Mailbag!

How Low Can a Superman Sink?

When last we visited the Man from Krypton, he was marooned on a red-sun world and falling into a delerium from a strange infection or flu. One of the natives has taken away his costume after giving him a good thrashing, and Superman has slunk off to wait for rescuers from Earth.

In his mental funk, he tried punching his way out of his cave shelter, only to be reawakened to reality: All he's done is torn up his knuckles.

He's been wearing his Clark Kent glasses to try and keep the blowing sand out of his eyes, but he realizes now that his rescue party from Earth might recognize him if he leaves them on. But, he's now too weak to do anything but drop down into a delerium-induced fever.

So he remains for days, until ... help arrives! Guided by Superman's automated radio-distress calls, Lois, Jimmy, and the scientist, Dr Luring, land on this faraway planet and track down Superman's sheltering cave.

But now what? Dressed only in that ratty cast-off loincloth, he thinks, "Oh-oh ... I'm sunk! Without my Superman costume, they'll recognize me at once as ... Clark Kent!"

Will they? Stay tuned for the last page of the tale!

More Ironic Super-Powered Memories

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Alanis Morissette would have had a field day by now.

Superman, having been stripped of his powers (by the red sun) and stripped of his costume (by a big hulking troglodyte), has taken refuge in a cave not far from the natives' village.

It's also not far from the research package that got him into this predicament. Him and his ding-dang willingness to help deliver this radio-controlled package of experiments by Super-Shuttle. Little did anybody know that the reason for this sun's strange attributes was, it likes to turn RED once in a while.

Now Superman knows, and he hopes that the changes he made to the package's radio sender allowed a morse-coded "SOS" to reach to Earth. All he can do is sit tight in his cave and hope.

As he digs for water, his memories flash back to other times when his super-abilities allowed him to easily bring water to millions at a time through Super-Irrigation. As he forages for berries, he remembers past times as a Super-Errand Boy of food and other aid packages.

Oh, great! now he's come down with some kind of alien flu bug that's making him hallucinate. And he's getting shaggy as his hair and beard begin to grow out. And, Supes old buddy, never try to punch your way through a stone wall when you're on a Red-Sun world. Ouch!

What's next? The last page of our tale from Superman 171 next time!

Me Tarzan, You Arbo Zil!

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Well, those cave guys beat Superman up after stealing his costume. Now the big lug wearing the Kryptonian long johns has figured out there's a pocket in the cape!

Mr Ooga-Booga has given Clark Kent's clothes to his main squeeze. Clark Kent's glasses fall to the ground unnoticed, as a dust storm blows in.

While the primitives enter their rawhide huts, Superman gropes for the glasses, using them as barely effectual goggles against the dust. He finds a cave and arranges some rocks in an "S" shape and an arrow pointing inwards, and prepares to wait out the storm.

As is usual for this kind of thing, Superman reflects on his normal super-powers and contrasts them with his current predicament. Where before he smashed planets together to reignite a sun, now he's having a hard time striking a spark to start a fire.

And this is where we leave our hero, trying to get a fire started, driven away from the natives, alone in a cave on an alien planet, wearing a hand-me-down loincloth.

See you next time!

Excedrin Headache Number 171

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If you stop to think about it, it's kind of amazing how people who steal the Super-costume -- cavemen, imposters, Kryptonian lookalikes -- all seem to fill out the duds so well. Prpbably the Kryptonian cloth is super-formfitting.

Anyway, after being mugged for his threads, Superman wakes up buck nekkid, and is forced to don his assailant's *used* loincloth. Yuck.

When he finds the fabric filcher, Supes gets another surprise. He already knew he was un-super on this planet of the schizophrenic sun. But he didn;t know the natives were so strong!

This cave guy could give a Mexican masked wrestler a run for his pesos! He simply picks up our hero with one hand and flings him like a proverbial sack of potatoes.

Then a ringer comes in and re-enacts the cover scene, sort of. On the cover, the costume thief is belting Superman. On this page, the mugger is in the background while a second caveman pounds away at the Man of Bruises.

What new indignity will be visited on our hero while he's marooned on this planet? Stay tuned!

What a Come-Down!

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Well, Superman never suspected that amongst the strange properties of this sun was CHANGING COLORS TO RED!

Let's leave aside all sniffy, grown-up questions about how a mere change in color could denote an actual change in radiation. And never mind that even under a red sun, if this were an Earth-size planet, Supes should STILL be able to leap 1/8 of a mile and shrug off bursting shells.

Nope, somebody took a cosmic crayon and colored this star red. And, in an instant, the mighty, flying Superman takes a dive into the dust.

But, don't count this scientist's son out! He rewires some of the intruments in the survey package and sends a Morse code plea for help.

Back on Earth, it looks like that super-missile is going to come in handy after all! All Superman has to do is find a way to survive until help comes.

Then our hero sees a village of humanoids and figures he can maybe make friends. Famous last thoughts!

Just like Little Rabbit Foo-Foo, a cosmic caveman sneaks up on Superman and clonks him on the head. Uh-oh, now ol' Handsome Hairy wants some new duds ...

Stay tuned for our next chapter, "The Costume Cape-r, or: What's My Loin(cloth)"!

Your Sun Has the Measles!

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To save the scientists some time (and fuel costs for the super-missile), Superman goes for the idea of personally delivering the research package to the interesting faraway planet.

Isn't it nice of Lois to recap the Yellow/Red sun-superpowers dichotomy? Keep that in mind. Yellow sun GOOD, red sun BAD (as Boris Karloff might say).

Package delivered, Superman heads back toiwards Earth, until ... by a strange twist of fate ...

Uh-oh, check out the final panel of this page. A yellow sun that looks like it's catching the measles cannot be good!

One hint ... reread the title of this comic-book story!

Superman 171 Will Return Soon!

Dear friends, SoonerCon 2010 swept upon me with a total lackof disregard for sleep and spare time.

When I went back to worktoday for a new week, I was blessed with the chance to work 7AM-9:30PM nonstop, so I'm pooped again!

However, let me share this with you about next year's SoonerCon in Oklahoma City:

Yes, for next year we will welcome legendary fantasy artist Darrell Sweet, and welcome as our writer guest Tim Powers, author of Dinner at Deviant's Palace, The Drawing of the Dark, and many others, including a little book called On Stranger Tides, which happens to be the basis for the upcoming Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides.

Thus SoonerCon 20, "Strange Tides."

More Supermanisms soon!

A Nightmare Ordeal for Superman

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Here's the first page of our cover story from Superman 171, "The Nightmare Ordeal of Superman!"

Once again, Supes has ended up on a planet where his powers are negated. The good news is, Lex Luthor isn't here to beat him up. The bad news is, some Cro-Magnon creep is willing to step in and pinch-hit. And do we mean, HIT!

If you'll recall the cover art by the incomparable Curt Swan, the sun in the background was RED. Why is it shown as yellow here? Maybe the story will tell us.

By the way, the splash scene here, when compared with the Swan-Delicious cover, shows a stark contrast between the styles of Al Plastino and Sir Curt. One thing I have noticed is how many times Mr Plastino repeated a character's pose, almost as if re-tracing it from an earlier story.

Anyway, as to THIS story ...

Deep-Space Scientists are intrigued by the strange radiations sent forth from a faraway star. They would love to send a research rocket closer, but are afraid that the strange emanations might cease before the rocket is ready.

(But what if that star is many light-years away? Maybe the star's emanations stopped a decade ago, and the change hasn't yet been detected here. And besides, what makes them think that a mere solid-fuel 1960s rocket can make it to a far solar system? wait, it's a super-speed missile. That explains everything.)

Burning questions, indeed! Stay tuned!

A Quick Interruption -- Forwards or Backwards?

We interrupt this page-by-page parsing of Superman 171 to make a note of the last episode of this season on Smallville.

Did you also notice something fishy, optical-effectswise, in the teaser?

Look at this screencap and tell me what's wrong with this image of Clark's eye as he beholds the costume Martha Kent made for him.

That's right! The "S" should have been REVERSED as a REFLECTION in Clark's eye. Since the "S" shield appears normal in this REFLECTION, the only logical deduction is that Martha Kent sewed a Bizarro costume for her son. Because only a backwards "S" would reflect "correctly" in Clark's eye.

Oopsie!

Never Had a Chance to Use These Coupons ...

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Several times a year, this ad would appear in the DC titles. I knew that these parks were far away from ol' everyday Oklahoma.

Looking at the ad now, I see that the bottom coupon was also good at "Uncle Cliff's Familyland" in Albuquerque, New Mexico, where my Dad's folks lived for 20 years or more. Man! I wish I'd noticed that in 1964. My economy-minded Dad might have gone for it!

As far as "Palisades Park," I would have loved to have seen a giant Superman holding up the resort. A bit of trivia:

If you are familiar with the song "Palisades Park," sung by Freddy Cannon about this actual place --- did you know that the song was written by Chuck Barris of "Gong Show" fame?

Next -- the beginning of this issue's cover story!

They're Magically Delicious!

After Superman wraps up "The Curse of Magic" with a resounding "Le-Lak!", we have another full-page ad for cereal in Superman 171.

As you'll notice in the "fine print," our Leprechaun's name is "L.C. Leprechaun." We can all figure out what those initials stand for, eh?

As you can see both from the text and the depiction of the box, in August 1964, Lucky Charms cereal was NEW.

I think the devilish brats in the comic strip must be the great-grandkids of the Katzenjammer Kids, ja? They don't look cute, they look like the bullies that tried to knock off my glasses on the playground at recess.

Sic 'em, L.C.!

What a Relief!

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Now, let's review. That goofball Mr Mxyzptlk zapped Superman with "The Curse of Magic," causing every little off-the-cuff remark made by the Man of Steel to come literally true -- as when he foolishly sang "London Bridge Is Falling Down" with some kids and made it happen in real life.

Now, he tried to shut up child star Baby Darlene's tantrum by reading to her. Unfortunately, when he said, "Twinkle twinkle little star," she started to!

A super-brainstorm ensued, when Supes recalled how reverse naming cancelled Mxy's magicks. So he tried, "Namrepus!"

D'oh! That didn't work either! But wait ... The Source of Magic probably knows our Super-Guy's REAL name -- Kal-El.

Let's try THAT backwards -- ding-ding-ding! We have a winner!

And, Superman muses as he flies away, once again a pair of "L"s has figured in his life, as he ruminated the day before at the beginning of this story.

The bottom half of the page is an ad for Tootsie Roll Pops. Yum!

Oh, Just Great! What Else Can Go Wrong Today?!?

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Well, it looks like a certain child star is a little bit spoiled. If you think she's crying now, wait a few years until she figures out that Mommie Dearest has snooted and drunk up all the salaries earned by Baby Darlene.

Crying kid? Enter Superman the kindly uncle! With the child actress's nurse out of commission, the Babysitter of Steel kindly agrees to sit in. Oops!

Speaking of "oops," notice the book Supes is reading from. Somehow the title of the book is on the back cover, not on the front.

And what's with the "Gloop!" anyway?

Well, what do you know? The child star becomes a five-pointed one! And look out, Superman! The head of the film crew threatens a complaint to the Director's Guild! Ooh, shaking in his boots, Superman is!

To somebody who cares about people, like our hero, this wisecrack from the director is kind of like being threatened with a parking ticket after your car explodes with your wife and child in it.

Anyway, Superman has a brainstorm and tries to reverse the effects of this "Curse of Magic" by doing what Mxy does -- saying his name backward. "Namrepus!" he shouts.

What happens? Check in next time to find out if this ploy works, or if Superman boots this whining child star into the heavens!

Superman (Doesn't) Make It Rain on Their Parade

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Oh, come on, now! Even a cheerful "Good Morning!" backfires on the hapless Man of Steel.

Note the doll the child actress is carrying. Artist Curt Swan is very careful to dress the doll in a British Colonial uniform, which makes sense since this film is being lensed on location in India.

Surely the child's name, Darlene Curtis, CAN'T be a play on the name of our penciller, Darling Curtis -- or can it?

Once again the Action Ace improvises a solution to the quandary he inadvertently caused. Now, anybody could freeze a lake and melt it above the film crew (as in Superman III). As Superboy, Superman made a giant rubber hose from waste tires to channel a river to his whim. But now we're getting fancy!

A giant atomizer to spritz the water over the film scene! That's too much, baby!

Time to Pay the Bills!

Yes, after Superman fixes London Bridge's imminent downfall and flies away, we now pause for this brief message from a sponsor, Trix.

Is it an artist's mistake that the groceryman's clamp goes "CLANK!" around The Rabbit's neck, but in the next panel it's around The Rabbit's ears? That clamp looks a lot less like a choking hazard when it's around the ears.

The bottom quarter of the page is taken up by one of DC's recurring text boxes of background info. Who wrote these? My first bet would be E Nelson Bridwell, DC's resident brain trust when it came to Super-Lore. Of course, perhaps I'm saying that because ol' ENB was from Oklahoma City!

The art for this text piece is by Wayne Boring, proof again that Boring's art could be more cartoonish than Curt Swan's.

And, don't forget that here again we have the CORRECT pronunciation of Mxyzptlk. Not a "Spit-lick" to be found, unlike some mispronunciations I've heard on TV.

At Least He Didn't Say "Ashes, All Fall Down"!

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Next, Superman flies to England and again shoots his mouth off. It is a great and charming touch that the Man of Steel finds the time to play kiddie games with some little ones.

Still, it looks as if once again Supes didn't watch his Ps and Qs. We should be happy that he didn't sing about a dish running away with a spoon, or Tolkien's poem, "The Man in the Moon Came Down Too Soon"!
But what is he going to do? He keeps forgetting about "The Curse of Magic" and, with a mere slip of the tongue, creating a mishap that only quick Super-Action can fix.
Boy, wait until Superman catches that Mr Mxyzptlk, he's going to give him such a pinch!

That Rascally Rabbit! -- umm, Imp!

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Aha! Now we know why and how Clark Kent was walking on air (unintentionally that is). It was that demented goofball from the Land of Zrfff in the 5th Dimension, Mr Mxyzptlk! Doesn't it do your heart good to see somebody who really enjoys his work? NOT!

Once again, notice how Curt Swan's art enlivens this story. Superman co-creator Jerry Siegel, who wrote this story's script, probably did not specify HOW Mxyzptlk would look when he popped in on Superman in the first panel of this page. No, it was probably Sir Swan who decided that Mxy would fly out doin' the ole flappy-ears schtick.

OK, so now Supes has "The Curse of Magic," and since the Imp is who he is, Superman can't use that power intentionally. He can't simply decree, "Forest fire die away," or, "Bank robbers walk to the police station and surrender." No, it only works when Superman makes an unintentional, off-the-cuff remark.

And somehow, when Mxyzptlk voluntarily says his name backwards and is yanked home to the Fifth Dimension, his magical curse remains.


Like, "I'm as hungry as a horse!" Ummm, oopsie. The story doesn't tell us what Superman did with the horse. Maybe put him to pasture on the dark side of the moon ...


We leave the Man of Steel in the final panel once again zooming around the world "on patrol," and wondering what in tarnation he's going to do.


Tune in next time to see if Supereman can figure out a way around dem ol' vocalizin' blues!

Chief Parker Reminisces!

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After fixing that ol' Double-L sign for the Shakespeare Festival, Superman as Clark Kent reports to work at the Daily Planet, to find he's been assigned to ... investigate himself!

Actually, it's more of an "untold story" kind of assignment. Perry White figures there's a market for a series of reminiscences about Superboy from Smallville residents. So, it's off to Smallville for Lois & Clark, to interview first retired Chief of Police Parker, and then the current residents of Lex Luthor's boyhood home.

All of this is prelude to an excuse for CK to win an award and become so happy he's "walking on air" -- oops! for real! Yes, suddenly Kent is airborne, accidentally! Only his quick action in whipping up a mini-tornado with his super-breath gives him an excuse for that inconvenient levitation.

What next!?! What's behind this? Stay tuned.

Inter alia ... Please pause to enjoy the fine Curt Swan art. Chief Parker looks just as Swan portrays him in Superboy, only even more codgerish. And the folks living in Luthor's old home are great examples of Curt Swan's talents for portraying everyday, salt-of-the-Earth types. The guy's in his everyday suspenders, and the Mrs. looks pleased as punch that they're getting attention from these big-city reporters.

And Lois never looked more lovely! In the first panel, her curves -- va-va-voom! And in the next-to-last panel, as the cocks one eyebrow and looks over her shoulder towards Clark -- this is one smart gal who knows something's a little wonky with this guy.

See you again soon!